


Remedy

by aguscha333, cb150681, fromthewildnorth, Justkillingtimewhileiwait, Laurabella2930, VSLDVIVI, Youknowitall



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Chicago PD writing challenge, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-18 15:37:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 40,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5933590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aguscha333/pseuds/aguscha333, https://archiveofourown.org/users/cb150681/pseuds/cb150681, https://archiveofourown.org/users/fromthewildnorth/pseuds/fromthewildnorth, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justkillingtimewhileiwait/pseuds/Justkillingtimewhileiwait, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laurabella2930/pseuds/Laurabella2930, https://archiveofourown.org/users/VSLDVIVI/pseuds/VSLDVIVI, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Youknowitall/pseuds/Youknowitall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jay Halstead has a problem... His brother. In order to bail Will out of the mess he's created Jay will have to go undercover to expose a corrupt unit of Chicago cops.<br/>Sounds straight forward enough but when his feelings for a fiery brunette complicate things, Jay realizes he may have gotten in over his head and Will's freedom may be slipping away.<br/>( Summary by Justkillingtimewhileiwait )</p><p>This story has many diffrent authors who each will contribute a chapters that builds off the one before it.<br/>Rated T ( for now )</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> This story is written by diffrent Authors.  
> Rules : Every writer in this challenge has to write a chapter to this story. The chapter must be posted weekly on Sunday. Who want’s to post earlier can do so. If someone is late please contact ( make a post ) your co- authors to notify them and people who like and read the story.  
> We do not own any of the characters or the show.

Chapter one by Youknowitall  
Also follow me on Tumblr: Captainolicitysbedroom

Beginnings

Jay Halstead hadn't expected to find his true love at two in the morning in a shady bar in downtown Chicago, and he certainly didn't expect it to happen the way that it did.

 

His day had started out quietly. He woke up alone to the always, empty apartment. He had gotten used to it by now, but that didn't mean he liked it. Ever since he had gotten back from war, he had lived in that same place. Today he had an interview for a new job in a special unit of the Chicago police department, under Sargent Hank Voight. He hated to be a snitch, but he didn't really have a choice. His brother, Will, had made some bad choices over the last few months, after their mom died, and now to keep him out of jail, Jay had to go undercover to find evidence against Hank Voight. Hank Voight was in prison for stealing money from a crime scene, and now people upstairs were wondering how he got out so quickly. The other lingering issue was how he managed to get his own unit. Jay wasn't interested in all that, he only wanted to get his brother out of the mess he'd created. He was all that was left of his family. So that was it. That was the only reason he was going to join the unit in the first place. At least that was what he thought that morning. The plan was to get the job and get close to a girl named Erin, the daughter of the Sargent. He had it all planned out in his head, this was going to be a quick fix to his brothers problems. Nothing an ex military like him couldn't handle. He prepared himself to go undercover and for just a split second his mind drifted back to the war he was in, what he had lost and had tried to forget over these past month. He ordered his thoughts and stepped into the shower.

 

The hot water ran down his dark blonde hair and down over his muscular body. He took his time, letting the water cleanse him, as he tried to rid the sins he had yet to commit. His mind wandered back to the places he wanted to so badly forget but somehow couldn't. The water got colder, he pushed the handle to regulate the temperature water so it would get hot again but it didn't work. "Really?" He shouted out. Why was that always happening to him. Something must have been wrong with the boiler. He made a mental note to call the landlord after work.

 

He got out of the shower and into a pair of dark jeans and a dark shirt. The fabric of the shirt hugged his broad chest. He pulled his leather jacket out of the closet and walked out into the still dark and quiet street. The air was cold on his skin as he sat on his bike. The drive wasn't long and after seventeen minutes he reached his destination. The 21st Precinct. He parked his bike behind the building and walked to the front door, his steps up the stairs were heavy, Jay knew that this was his only chance to save his brother and he couldn't let this opportunity slip away. He would do what he came to do and nothing would distract or stop him, at least that's what he thought. This was it, this was his last mission, he wouldn't screw this up.

Although it was still early morning and the streets were cold and empty the precinct was crowded, and as soon as he opened the door, loud voices invaded his ears. The front desk was big and made out of dark wood. An older woman with a stern face was standing behind it. Her nameplate said Platt. A smile formed on his lips as he stepped forward.

 

"Excuse me, I'm Jay Halstead, I have an appointment with Hank Voight." The older Lady looked him up and down before rolling her eyes and moving her hand to point to a cage door up the stairs. He nodded and walked up.

 

An hour later he stepped out of Voight's office. The Sargent hadn't gone easy on him but he didn't mind, he tried to stick mostly to the truth, only lying when it was necessary. He couldn't risk getting caught. When he knew one thing it was that too many lies would risk the operation.

 

"Listen up everyone, this is Jay Halstead. He is the newest member of this unit and he will be Lindsay's new partner. Don't bust his balls too much," Voight said and walked back into his office. 

 

Jay Halstead introduced himself to the other members of the team. There was Antonio Dawson, Adam Ruzek, Kevin Atwater, Alvin Olinsky and Nadia Decotis. The team seemed to be nice. But he noticed that his new partner wasn't in yet. He glanced over to his new partners desk a few times.

 

"She's undercover at the moment." He heard Antonio say next to him.

 

Jay snapped out of his thoughts and turned around to face him.

 

"Didn't Voight tell you?" Antonio added. 

 

Jay shook his head, "No, he didn't..."Jay answered and his gaze wandered to the offices' now closed door.

 

The worst part of it all was all the paperwork. He had to fill out form after form for only god knows what. He was just glad when his first day was over. He decided not to ask to many questions on his first day. So when he finally finished up at nine in the evening, he gathered his stuff out of the locker, before quietly walking out into the night. The sky high above the city was clear and beautiful, a few stars looking down at him from above. To him it almost seemed like they where shining in judgement of his past and future sins. The others had gone to Molly's a few hours ago, but he had declined the offer to come along. After everyone had left he tried to go through Voight's desk drawer, but he couldn't find a damn thing. So he finished up the remaining paper work. Maybe his plan wouldn't go as easily as he had thought.

 

He went home.

It was already after midnight when he got a call from his intel. He asked a CI who was honestly an old army friend of his to find the girl he was supposed to investigate. He heard she liked to party so to find her he got the word out on the street. He said they'd spotted Erin at a bar. He took that as a sign. Jay put on some clothes and made his way over to the place. He stood outside for a while checking the exits and watching people leave the dirty place. As a pair of drunk guys opened the door and stumbled outside as he went in. The air was heavy, smelling of alcohol and cigarettes, and there was a light dust hanging in the air. Given the hour, and the fact that the bar was still full of people, most of them were drunk or high, it didn't surprise him given what kind of environment he was in. He made his way over to the bar, when he suddenly came to a halt. In front of him sat the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her curly hair hung loose around her head, the blonde strains in her brown hair glowed in the dim light. He could tell that she was not very tall but skinny, which was probably caused by the alcohol and drugs she must have been on. She was almost too skinny for his liking. She was talking to a guy who was sitting next to her, his hand resting on her knee. She seemed to enjoy whatever the guy said because her face broke into the most perfect smile he had ever seen. Jay narrowed his eyes, he wanted that smile just for himself. He was just standing there, in the middle of the bar starring at her. He somehow forgot how to move. He could tell that the guy was bad news, he was tall with black hair, his jeans were torn in a few places. His body leaned forward as he steadied himself with a hand on her leg. Jay's jaw clenched. He wanted to punch him just for having his hand on her knee. What the hell was going on with him? He was on a goddamn assignment!!! He tried to focus again, tried to get his mind straight again. He blinked a few times and was about to turn around to look for his target when her head turned and she looked right at him. Her eyes locked with his and for just a few seconds it felt like they where the only people in the whole universe. Nobody else.  
The intensity in the moment was broken when she looked away, down at the drink in her hand.

 

It hit him! He'd seen a picture of Erin once in the file they showed him when they told him about the job. It was an old picture and it showed a young Erin with long brown hair, pale skin and big eyes.

 

Jay turned around shaking his head. No this was not happening. He had to leave the bar to think about the events of this night. He ran his hand through his hair and turned around one last time, but Erin and the guy weren't at the bar anymore. They must have left while he tried to get his shit back together. He punched the wall next to the exit, angry at himself as he left the bar.

 

She was his target! She was Erin! She was the girl in the picture. She looked so different now. Like live happened to her and not a good way, and he wondered how her Dad, a Sargent could have let this happen to his daughter. Why wasn't he dragging her home? Getting her a place in rehab? She's old enough to make her own choices the voice in his head said. He shook his head again, trying to get rid of the thoughts that were attaching him to a woman that he had seen only once in some dingy darkened bar. But somehow he couldn't, he couldn't get rid of the picture of her in his head or how her smile looked on her hollow face. Her eyes told a story when she looked at him. He could see her pain. See the trouble she'd gotten herself into. You don't know if she's in trouble he thought to himself but deep inside he knew she was. He couldn't explain it. It was like there was a connection between him and her in that dark place. Without noticing he drove his bike into the driveway of his apartment building. He got of the bike and stepped inside of the building.

 

This was not happening he thought again. "She is the operation" he whispered into the dark bedroom.

 

He was lying on his back starring at the ceiling of his bedroom, it was dark but he still could see the wall and the shadow of the lamp high above him. Jay tried to order his thoughts. He crossed his arms behind his head and started to think about the facts he learned today when another thought entered his mind. 

 

When was he going to meet his new partner? What was she like? could he trust her? Detective Lindsay her name was Voight had said. He never heard of her so she must be new in the unit, just like him.

 

It was still early in the morning when he finally fell asleep.


	2. Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's hard to meet the standars of Youknowitall, but here's my sequel to the story!
> 
> Some more stressed out Jay and a little bit of drama
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr: http://fromthewild-north.tumblr.com/

The next day was a lot like the last. He woke up early in the morning, a habit he’d picked up in the army. On days like today he wondered if the habit would ever really go away. He sighed heavily, putting his helmet on before driving his bike to work. Since Detective Lindsay, his new partner, still hadn’t returned, he was stuck on paperwork duty, again. The only good part about his day was when the guys took him to the gun range, to quote “see what he was made of”. It gave him the opportunity to release some of the tension and stress of the last couple of days. Plus, he’d loved the look on their faces when he hit a bulls eye every time. What had they expected, really? He was a ranger! Well, they didn’t know that, so he couldn’t really blame them. But the team had a new silent respect for him after that, witch he appreciated. All he really wanted was for them to leave him alone. They always tried to make friends with him, trying to engage him in a conversation, inviting him to Molly’s and so on. He as always turned them down. They where just a part of his mission, a mission that would be over in a week or so, and he couldn’t afford to waste time socializing.

He finished up at about six this time. He stayed and pretended to work until everyone had gone, so that he could do some more snooping. He had been doodling on an empty form for about two hours when the Sargent, being the last one there, finally left. Jay nodded good bye and Hank responded with a nod and a ‘see ya’. He waited about fifteen more minutes, to make sure that the Sargent wouldn’t come back up. He was sitting there, bouncing his leg and staring at the clock, and it seemed like the minutes had turned into hours.

When the clock finally said 20:25 he got up to get started. He picked the lock to Voight’s office and went in for a second time. Last time he hadn’t been very through, this time he would be. He started searching through the desk again but, still, found nothing useful. Just some pictures of him and another woman, probably his wife, a file on some criminal, and some half finished reports. He then moved on to the bookcase. He traced his fingers over all the books, skimming through the titles. All he found was a bunch of law books, some criminal studies books and a hand book on intimidation tactics. He laughed at that last one. I guess the scary cop act didn’t come completely natural. He checked behind the drawers, under the carpet, in the little cabinet by the window, and still nothing. With a deep sigh Jay sat down on the desk chair. He looked around the small room and tried to think. _Where would I hide something important, something no one would think to find?_ Not in my office… That’s when it hit him. What if he was going about this all wrong? Why would Hank keep his valuables in his office? Jay had to find a way to get into Voight’s home. Well, there was nothing he could do about that tonight, so Jay took a final look around the office, to make sure that everything was in its right place, and left.

He drove home, finally start to feel that last days of sleepless nights catching up with him. He arrived at his apartment building and jumped of his bike, rolling his shoulders as he went up the stairs with tired steps. It was good when he was this tired, because then maybe he could sleep deeply enough for the nightmares to stay away. He pushed his keys into the lock and froze. It was already unlocked. What the hell? Jay’s heart rate sped up as he pulled out his gun and slowly opened the door. His mind becoming laser focused once more. He crept into his apartment with quiet steps, trying to listen for someone moving around or breathing. He turned right to search his small living room and found a woman sitting on his couch.

Scott. Jay let out an annoyed growl as he put his gun away. What the fuck did she want this time?

“What are you doing here?” Jay said in a harsh voice, breaking the silence. She stood up from his couch and walked over to him.

“I’m here to check up on the mission.” She said in a cold voice. “I trust you have made progress?” Jay growled again and walked around her to stand with his back against the wall.

“Not much” he said under his breath, looking down. “But there will be”

“For the sake of your brother, there better be. Have you searched through his office?”

“Yes, I found nothing. I’m thinking I should get into his house somehow”

“And what about this Erin girl, any progress with her?” Scott said. Standing cool and collected, like she owned the world. Completely opposite to Jay who was now pacing his living room nervously, rubbing his wrist. The memories of the ropes that had once been there still felt to real for his liking.

“I saw her yesterday” He said, his mind spinning.

“And…?”

“And nothing. You’ve given me two days! That’s nothing! I’ll make more progress, I promise, if you just give me a little time!”

“Time is something neither I nor your brother have, Jay. His trial is in nine days. I can make sure he’ll spend the rest of his life in the highest security prison in the world. I could even put the death penalty on the table if I want to. Do you want that?” Jay inhaled sharply, but stayed silent, looking down at his hands.

“I didn’t think so.” She continued. “We are the only ones that can help him, Jay. I am the only one that can help him. Now will you do what I ask?”

“Please, he’s just a kid that made a stupid mistake…” Jay tried desperately.

“Will you do what I ask?”

“Yes.”

“And will you do it fast and efficient, with no complications?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” And with that, she headed for the door and left, leaving a heavy silence behind her.

Jay stood there, in the same spot, completely still, trying to process the conversation. Death penalty!? This was not happening. He couldn’t lose his brother too. What was he going to do!? Jay’s breathing sped up as he sat down on the couch, his thoughts chaotic. He felt his lungs grow tighter as tried to calm down. This was not the time to have a panic attack. He got up and walked to the bathroom to splash some cold water on his face. He leaned over the sink, gripping its edges tightly. _Calm down. Focus._ He sat down on the toilet with his face in his hands. How did his life become so screwed up?

Jay jumped as he felt his phone vibrating against his leg. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes before picking up.

“Yes?”

“Hey Jay, it’s Mike. Look, I’m in a bit of a hurry, but one of my guys just called, saying he saw that Erin girl at the bar again.” Mike said, sounding a bit frantic.

“Thanks Mike, you’ve been a really big help with all of this” Jay said in a wary voice.

“Don’t mention it, dude! I owe you my life!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just know that I appreciate it.” He sighed.

“Jay, are you ok?” Mike said, suddenly turning serious.

“What? I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” Jay insisted. More like lied. But he would be fine, if he just got this done and got his brother back.

“If you say so…” Mike sounded uncertain, but Jay tried to ignore it.

“Bye, Mike”

“Bye”

And with that, he hung up, got himself together, and walked out the door. He wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight anyways, with what just happened. Scott’s final words rung loudly in his pounding ears. He needed to make progress or his brother’s life was over. So, with shaky hands, he climbed on his bike and drove away into the night, heading towards the bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, hope you liked it! If so, kodus and comments are very appreciated!! Next up is the wonderful Justkillingtimewhileiwait


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 by justkillingtimewhileiwait

She opened the doors and a wave of stale air hit her. She had to fight from choking on it. The cloud of smoke danced in the dull light. This was exactly the kind of place she'd spent her adult life trying to avoid. The kind of place her mother preferred to spend drunken nights hitting on men and hoping someone would buy her drinks all night, pass her something to get high on and take her home with them. 

It was ironic now, the effort Erin was putting into looking like she too had spent years drinking and hitting on men who would only use her, when she'd fought so hard to stay out of this life. But she needed to blend in, look the part or she'd never get close to them. Thankfully she'd had years to watch her mother work. With the right combo of dark make up and revealing cloths she was able to look like the desperate drunk druggie her mother had become through years of hard partying. 

Erin pushed the though of her mother away. She scanned the room and found who she was looking for at the bar, same spot he'd been the night before. She took a deep breath numbed her emotions and headed in his direction. They were running out of time and if they were going to intercept this crew she was going to have to make this happen tonight. 

She'd almost done it last night until Boy Scout had walked in. He was six feet of confidence and muscle and she'd got caught up in his deep blue eyes imagining what they would look like if she were staring up into them from underneath him. His strong hands playing up and down the sides of his body. 

Erin shook her head. Fuck Lindsay, get it together. She was sure Boy Scout was a cop, he'd stuck out like a sore thumb in this seedy spot, but she couldn't figure out why he was here. She'd had Voight check and no other unit had anything running on this location or its regulars. She just hoped he didn't show again. If she was made, she was dead. And so was their plan. She couldn't let that happen. Too many people had worked too hard for too long to make this happen. She saddled up on the stool next to her mark and ordered herself a drink. 

"Couldn't resist me huh?" He drawled, his intoxication slurring his words. She sucked in a breath and turned to face him giving him her best sexy smile. 

"Couldn't get you out of my head last night." 

"Really? Cuz you left me hanging girl. You think I'm gonna give you another shot?" 

This is what Erin had been afraid of. When she'd seen the boy scout she's panicked and suggested they take the party somewhere else, he was horny as hell and Erin had counted on that to get them out of there quickly. But half way down the back hallway he'd pushed her up against the wall and stuck is tongue down her throat, grinding himself against her. She was surprised and nauseated. Panic over took her and she'd mumbled some lame excuse about how tonight wasn't a good night and got the hell out of there. 

You'd think she was a rookie. She was pissed she'd let some guy, hot as he was, throw her off her game like that. Voight would toss her out on her ass in a heartbeat if he knew. Now she'd have to do some fancy dancing to get back in Mr. Horny's good graces if she had a shot at him taking her home so she could get the info she needed. 

Her plan was to get him drunk and high enough to spill some Intel. They were so close but the details of when the shipment was coming in eluded them. It was a big score, the biggest Chicago had seen. It was a game changer for them and they had to get to it before it reached the streets. 

Erin slid a bit closer to her mark. "Oh I think you will," she said laying her hand on his arm. She stared up at him. Fake desire in her eyes. He licked his lips in response to her heated signals and moved his hand to run the full length of her thigh. 

"No running away this time. And you'll have to pay for last night." He said pointedly. "I don't enjoy being made a fool of."

"Of course" she shrugged back. "But no dark and dingy hallways. I'm a lady and a lady deserves something a little more classy."

His booming laugh filled the bar. "You? A lady? Fuck woman that's the best line I've heard in a long time." Erin removed her hand from his arm and crossed her arms across her chest, pouting. 

"You want some of this least you can do is give a girl a warm bed. Besides, you'll need the room to collect your payment." 

"Oh I'll be collecting alright," his gaze was hair raising. He eyed her up and down, undressing her as he went. Erin fought the discussed shutter that threatened to erupt. 

She tilted her head to the side and smiled again. "You like what you see don't you? We could go have a party of our own."

"Mmmm I think that's a good idea" he agreed, abruptly standing and grabbing her gruffly by the arm. His grip was too tight and caught Erin by surprise. "But no way will I be giving you a chance to run off tonight." 

"Take your hands off her." A deep voice demanded from over Erin's right shoulder. It surprised both her and Mr. Horny. Erin turned to look at who was budding into her mission. She was no damsel and this was one asshole she didn't want rescuing from. Much to her dismay there stood the Boy Scout, clad in a tight Tshirt and low hung jeans. He looked every bit as hot as she remembered. 

"Fuck off pretty boy this one is mine." Mr Horny boomed, tightening his grip on Erin. Pain shot through her arm but she schooled her face and focused her annoyance on her would be saviour. "This is a party for two honey, you're not invited. But maybe next time we can negotiate a threesome," she said too sweetly. 

She watched as his face contorted in disgust and anger. "No fucking way are you going home with this asshole!" 

"Who the hell are you? Who is this asshole?” Her mark demanded of her. 

"Nobody baby. I've never seen him before. Let's just leave." Erin's voice sounded sickening sweet to her ears and she used her free hand to caress his chest up and down, pressing herself against him. Mr Horny smiled creepily at her. 

"Time to go,"he announced. And he turned to leave dragging her by the arm. 

But her Boy Scout stepped into his path. "I said take your hands off her."

"Or what? What are you gonna do about it chump?"

"I'll remove them for you." The two stood toe to toe staring each other down. Erin started to panic. This couldn't be happening. If she didn't leave with this guy now no way would she get another chance. 

"Baby lets just go. Come on baby," she said honey dripping from her voice. "Take me home. He's not worth your time." Erin tugged on his arm but he wouldn't budge. The staring match continued. Erin's temper flared. He was going to blow the whole deal. No fucking way. No fucking way was she going to go back to Voight and tell him she's lost their shot at getting their hands on this shipment. 

Erin pulled back slightly and swung her leg making contact with the Boy Scout’s shin. Surprise and pain creased his face as he buckled to grab his leg. He swore and grunted. Erin ceased the opportunity to tug her mark away. 

"Come on baby this loser isn't worth it. Let's go party." He looked at her and snarled. 

"Fuck this you’re more trouble than you’re worth." he said, releasing his hold on her and turning to leave. Erin quickly jumped in his path. 

"No baby it's fine, he's nobody. Come on. I know what you need. You know I can give you whatever you want."

"Go to hell bitch." He boomed at her. Before she could register it, his hand came up across his chest and he swung, back handing her across the face. She lost her balance and fell back. Her head made contact with the edge of the bar. Pain encompassed her. The last thing she remembered, as the world went dark, was that Voight was gonna kill her.


	4. Mr. Boy Scout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is chapter four of this series called Remedy which is written in collaboration with 5 other authors. Hope you like this chapter and subscribe if you want to get notice when more chapters are uploaded.

Remedy Chapter Four

She fell flat in the ground, Mr. Horny left not giving a damn that he had just left the woman unconscious. Jay run to her and tried to wake her up, fortunately it didn’t take long for her to open her eyes and and the commotion of people that had formed around her scattered losing interest in the event.  
“Are you OK?”Jay asked and Erin tried to focus her still blurry vision and identify this man that was taking to her. When her vision cleared and she saw that it was Mr. Boy Scout, or should she say Mr. ruin it all, anger settled in,  
“Get off of me you idiot”. She said while standing up. “Too fast.. too fast..” she thought and she regretted her actions immediately, her head was spinning like a disco ball with sparkly lights and all. She touched the back of her head, that pain was really killing her, she could not deal with Mr. boy scout and this at the same time. When she brought back her hand, it was stained in blood, her blood.  
“You should go see a doctor, you hit your head hard with the floor when you fell back, that looks like a really bad concussion.”  
“Just leave me alone, you’ve done enough already”  
“Well excuse me from saving you from that piece of shit that wasn’t treating you well, plus you are drunk and most likely on drugs also, so from where I see it I did you a favor.” Erin didn’t want to make a scene at the bar and blow her cover so she decided to play nice with Mr. Boy Scout.  
“Well if you say so, thank you, now I’m leaving”  
“That hit on your head does look really bad, let me take you to an emergency room to get it checked out.” Ugh this guy was exasperating, why didn’t he just leave her alone for pete’s sake!  
“No, really I’m fine” She tried to brush him off but again it did not work and he kept insisting until she gave up. In reality she did want to go to the hospital anyways, she hated them but she felt like she should get checked out, she just didn’t want to go with him.  
“Alright if it’ll make you go away I’ll go.”  
“As soon as I know your head is ok, I promise. Lets go.”  
\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
“It looks like a mild concussion, nothing too serious but you still have to stay awake for the next twenty four hours and take it easy for a couple of days. The punch in your eye is going to leave a big bruise but damage wise it doesn’t look that bad, just put some ice on it. Here is a prescription for some pain meds, take them no less than six hours apart and if more than that time passes and you don’t feel like you need one don’t take it.” Dr. Manning said.  
“Thanks” Erin said standing up and starting to leave not caring what Mr. boy scout was doing. He obviously started following her because what the hell, like he hadn’t made enough of a mess already Erin thought.  
“Wait up, let me give you a ride home”  
“Hell no, you’ve done enough already! I got checked out like you wanted now leave me alone.” Jay wanted to make sure that she got home safe but to this woman he was a complete stranger and he didn’t knew her very well either so he couldn’t do much when she refused his offer. He would have to settle with watching her leave the hospital and hope that she ended up ok.

When Erin arrived home the first thing she did was call Voight.  
“Voight”  
“Hank is me, the mission got blown off, I don’t think my cover is of use anymore”  
“What happened?”  
“I was talking to one of the suspects at the bar and I suggested we went somewhere more private to talk and when we were leaving he was a bit aggressive by the way he was grabbing my arm and one stupid guy at the bar saw it and decided to confront the suspect, I tried to brush him off but long story short the suspect said I was too much trouble and he hit me. I just came back from the hospital.”  
“Hospital? Erin why didn’t you call me sooner? I would have gone there to be with you.”  
“It was nothing really, just a mild concussion I have to stay awake for the next 24 hours and take it easy for a couple of days. The only reason I really went to the hospital was because the idiot who ruined the mission was making a scene and I wanted to avoid as much attention at the bar as possible”  
“Take tomorrow off and we'll see what to do next now that your cover has been blown”  
“Hank if I have to stay awake for the next 24 hours I better have something to do if not I’m gonna fall asleep so I’m going to the district tomorrow.”  
“Erin..” Hank’s fatherly side came out, he was worried about his adoptive daughter.  
“Hank, this is a really big case, you know how many drugs this guys have, they control 15 percent of the Chicago drug market. Taking them down would have a really good impact in the city. I want to catch them as soon as possible. Just desk duty tomorrow I promise”  
“Ok but if I see that you are not feeling well I’m sending you home and it will be an order.”  
“Yeah whatever”  
“At least you’ll get to meet your new partner”  
“Let’s hope he is not a dumb ass like the stupid guy that made my day hell today.”  
“Ok” Hank laughed. “see you tomorrow and don’t forget not to fall asleep.”  
\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -   
“Good morning detective, long time no see!” Platt greeted the young detective as she entered the district.”Oh my! what happened you your face?” She said when she saw her bruised eye, it had turned into purple overnight. Dr. Manning was right, it was a nasty bruise.  
“Undercover job going wrong, looks worse than it is really.” “Well hope you get better soon” “Thanks Sarge, gotta go upstairs now”

Erin climbed the stairs and when she reached the top she could not believe her eyes.  
“You’ve gotta be kidding me!!!”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay finally meets Detective Lindsay  
> 5th chapter by cb150681

Erin looked again into the break room. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing.  
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” she mumbled to her self again.

 

In that moment he spotted her. He almost didn’t recognize her in her normal day to day clothes and without the shady make up. Her eye thought didn’t look good. But what was she doing here?  
“What are you doing here?” Jay asked leaving the break room.  
“Don’t talk to me.” She said and entered into Voight’s office, closing the door behind her. Voight was not there. She grabbed her phone to call him but there was a knock on the door and then Antonio entered and joked, "Who are you hiding from?”  
“Where is Voight?”  
“He’s running late, something about your undercover not working anymore” Antonio said, with doubt on his face.  
“Yes. Something happen last night with some asshole and I guess I lost my chance,” Erin said in a snappy tone looking outside again.  
“What is Boy Scout doing here?”  
“Who?” Antonio asks, laughing.  
“The guy talking to Al, what is he doing here? He said anything about… Who is he?” Erin asked quickly with a hint of stress in her voice.  
“He is your new partner… Voight didn’t tell you? What’s happen anyway?” Antonio was getting more and more suspicious about all this and pointed to her black eye.  
“This is nothing, like I said… last night didn’t end well. Voight did tell me that I would meet my new partner today but he didn’t tell me who he was.“  
“And why did you call him Scout Boy or something?”  
“Boy Scout… it is what he looks like.”  
“He seems like a good cop and makes all of us fools at the shooting range so…”  
“Great, you already love him.“  
“What’s your problem with the guy? You don’t even know him. Go out there and meet him and go easy ok?”  
Erin nodded, "I need to call Voight first, than I will go.”  
“OK” Antonio left the office and closed the door behind him.

 

What I’m going to do? If I tell Voight what this moron did last night he’s out of the unit in a blink, Erin thought to her self. She didn’t know what to do with him. Deep inside she kind of liked him. It was very nice of him getting all protective over her and being so concerned about her health without even know her. He really seems like a good guy and handsome to. Am I really thinking right now how attractive he is? Come on Erin. This guy ruined our operation. It doesn’t matter how good looking he is. But his abs were something. Erin stop! She shouted to herself.  
She knew Hank and if he knew about all of this, that guy didn’t have a chance here.

“Hi” Erin said leaving Voight’s office.  
“Hi” Jay nodded, “It seems we are partners”. Jay hesitates. “Look about…”  
“You want coffee?” Erin cut him of with a look of “shut up” on her face.  
She entered the break room and looked around to see if anyone was looking. “We don’t know each other ok? It’s better that way… I’ll explain later.“  
“But…” Jay was starting to talk but she cut him of again.  
"Do as I said if you want to keep your job.”  
Jay nodded reluctantly and got out of there. This was getting crazier by the minute. He couldn’t imagine that Lindsay was Erin. God she looks amazing today even with that bruise, Jay thought to himself. What a hell man, are you crazy… pull it together. Jay didn’t think this was going to end well. Drunk and junky Erin, daughter of Hank Voight was after all the very beautiful Detective Lindsay, her partner who was undercover. And the worst part of this was that he was kind of falling for this girl.  
Last night when he got home after leaving her in the hospital, all he could think about was her. This was messy. How did all of this happen and how would he help his brother now? Scott would harass him today again, threatening his brother’s future again and now… now he really didn’t know what to do.

Voight entered the bullpen. “Ok, so change of planes, Lindsay’s undercover is off, but I managed to find the delivery point for today, so Lindsay and Halstead you two are on surveillance. Nadia will send you the address.”  
They both continued to look at him, without moving. “Go. Move. It’s a good opportunity to get to know each other.“ 

This will not be pretty! Erin thought to her self. “Lets go and just so you know, I drive, always.” Erin walked to the stairs and looked at Jay with a little smile on her lips. They walked to the car in awkward silence. 

Once settled inside the car Erin confronted Jay. "So are you going to tell me why you were following me?” Erin said looking at him with a closed face “Because all this is to strange for my taste. You showing up to the bar two nights in a row, now being here. Don’t tell me you went to the bar to get to know me because clearly you didn’t know who I was.”

Jay looked at her, and stayed there just staring. Her eyes were amazing. Again… what are you doing man? he thought to himself. He cleared his head and said “I usually go to that area so I just happen to bee there and just intervened because the guy was being an ass and you should thank me.”  
“Thank you? Really? For messing up the biggest drug bust we were going to do this year? You’re funny. As I told you upstairs, if you want your job here you don’t know me and last night it wasn’t you ok? I don’t even know why I’m doing this. Anyway, just follow my lead and all will be fine.”  
Follow her lead. This is a mess Jay thought to himself “Ok I will try to keep up with you.”  
“You better…” Erin said with a raspy voice.

 

“Look, I think we started the wrong way” Jay said with the smile.  
“Really? Didn’t notice…”  
“Stop being sarcastic, what do you think? Can we start over?”  
“What?”  
“Hi. I’m Jay Halstead. Apparently you’re my new partner,“ Jay said with a big smile on his face and putting out his hand waiting for a handshake.  
She took her eyes of the road for a moment and looked at his smile, it was kind of cute and she shook his hand, smiled and said with a soft voice “Hi. I’m detective Lindsay but you can call me Erin.” Why are you getting soft with this guy… Erin thought to her self.

Jay kept his gaze on her, she was beautiful even with a black eye and suddenly he had an idea, a very bad idea, he didn’t even understand how he thought of this but she was his way to finding out the information he needed on Voight. It would be bad… but his brother’s life was on the line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all like it !  
> Now is with you beyourownwonderland


	6. Let's Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay and Erin's first stateout and of course maybe just a little bit of flirting...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing in relation to Chicago PD or it's characters.

                                                        

 

**Chapter 6: Let’s Talk**  

The overcast sky did nothing to improve his mood as he followed closely behind his new partner. Jay shook his head his mind racing as his eyes raked over her slim waist and curved hips. Her jacket collar was flipped up around her neck to stop the creeping cold from pricking at her skin. Jay’s head fell as he strode down the steep stairs and out past the gate. She glanced over her shoulder with a strange mix of emotions playing across her face. 

“So Boy Scout have any experience other than showing up at the wrong bar at the wrong time?” Her lips curved as his eyes slanted. 

“So this is how you get to know me?” He accused gently as he shoved his hands into his faded denim pockets. 

Her mood shifted as she let her walls slip. “Sorry you’re right so let’s make a deal you give me proof that you can actually do your job and I’ll think about letting you speak during the stakeout.” What to most would be seen as insult actually made Jay practically preen. 

“Are all your edges this rough or is it just for my benefit?” He joked as she walked around to her side of the car. 

She snickered. “Hey Boy Scout has a sense of humor! There might be hope for you yet.” She chided as she dipped into the driver’s seat and pulled the door shut. 

Jay swallowed hard. His fingers blanching as he gripped at the side of the door. His plan just got ten times more complicated but also ten times easier. “Hey Halstead you coming or not?” She shouted as his eyes rolled. Ten minutes in and already she was laying claim to his soul. 

“Chill Voight’s girl I was just getting the lay of land.” He replied as she chuckled. 

“Voight’s girl, not bad Boy Scout not bad...” she muttered as she shoved the key into the ignition. 

 

* * *

 

 

He stared out the slightly dirt covered window as the busy city passed by. His eyes drifted over the various groupings of people as Lindsay sped past them. The light ahead of them was yellow; yet the car kept accelerating. He risked a sideways glance and what he saw made his heart constrict in his chest. Her shoulder length hair was curled at the nape of her neck. Her hazel eyes ignited in flames as her lips parted. He lowered his gaze to her blanched knuckles as he saw her muscles tighten. 

The traffic around them was slowing as she pressed harder on the accelerator. He kept watching her, his stomach flipping as the light flashed to red. The left turn signal flashed to green as she sped quickly through the nearly empty intersection. Jay’s fingers tightened along the edge of his knee as she let out a small low hiss of controlled air. Her fingers reddened as her grip lessened. Her eyes no longer flared with the desire or need for more, they now grew slightly distant, and perhaps maybe even a little cold. “So I what was that your daring act for the day?” He asked lowly as she edged the car into a small space alongside the three story deserted building. 

She pulled out her phone and slid her finger over the flashing message icon. She grinned, but said nothing before plopping the phone into the slightly filled center console. Jay grunted in frustration, “Do you always treat your partners this well or am I the exception to your rule?” 

Her eyes narrowed as she shifted her gaze. “Yes, no and keep your eyes out the windows and not on my face okay?” 

Jay blanched. “Wow you must get asked out hourly with a personality like that.” He declared before shoving his hands beneath the warmth of his underarms. The air around them was chilling quickly as the cabs residual heat waned. 

“You really screwed up my latest score Halstead. I’ve been working to bring those bastards down for months and you in the span of less than two days ruined months of grunt work. I’m just well...” He voice ebbed as Jay sighed. 

“Same thing happened to me in Afghanistan. I’d formed a very fragile bond of mutual respect with a solider in one of the terrorist cells we’d been following. He’d funnel us some minor intel in exchange for things like blankets or even or food scraps.” Jay’s eyes crinkled at the sides as his head fell back against the edge of the seats headrest. “My partner at the time well he was a good guy. You know the type. He had a wife, kids, a home with some damn white picket fence.” He swallowed as his voice trembled. 

“What happened to him?” She asked softly as her hands fell into her lap. 

He gazed up at the car’s ceiling and sighed. “My contact got jittery and my partner was shot. He died due to massive blood loss because I was ten seconds too late on reading the situation before me.” He glanced in her direction and the look on her face made his skin flush. 

“You felt the same way about me...” She realized as her eyes drifted down. 

He nodded before glancing out the windshield. Two scruffy looking men were milling around an old rusted out trashcan as the fallen leafs crunched beneath their boot laden feet. “I’m sorry I screwed up your bust...” he stated slowly as he timidly held out a hand. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t think to ask why...” she stated just as slowly before reaching out to brush her fingers over his palm. His hand quivered as her fingers inched along the lines of his longer digits. 

The exchange was soft, lingering and over far too soon. His thumb grazed quickly over her knuckles before she abruptly pulled away. “So...” she mumbled. 

“Yeah so...” he croaked as they each went rigid in their solitary seats. 

The silenced engulfed them as she slowly tapped her thumb along the rim of the steering wheel. Her soft exhales made his chest constrict her small sigh of confusion made his head swim. He shot her a series of side wards glances as she did the same. They both smiled when they caught the other’s gaze. 

“Are we really starting over?” She asked. 

He smiled before giving her a small head tilt. “Yeah I think we are.” He straightened in his seat before giving her another lazy smile. “Hi I’m Jay Halstead I was a ranger in Afghanistan for two tours before I decided to come home.” He cocked his head as her eyes fluttered. “Come on your turn Lindsay...” 

Her lips curved and his insides melted. She slid a finger down the line of his chiseled jaw before she leaned in close. He could smell the lingering scent of her faded perfume as it mixed with the damp chill of the air around them. His breathe caught in his throat as she brought her finger down the line of neck. His breath hitched as her nail scraped over his adam’s apple until she was grazing over the juncture of his collar bone at the hallow of his throat. Her voice made his heart race and his head pound. “You’ll have to earn my secret’s Boy Scout but thanks for playing...” she giggled as she settled back into the faded fabric of the driver’s seat. 

Jay huffed, “Tease...” as the sound of her laughter filled the small cab. 

“So wanna hear about what we’re here to “stakeout”.” she asked as her fingers made the small quotation marks. 

Jay nodded as his shoulders finally relaxed into the backrest of his seat. “Sure Voight’s girl lay it on me.” 

 

* * *

 

 

“God this is boring...” he groaned as he placed another fry into his waiting mouth. 

She agreed. “Yeah I know I had to spend about three months in this damn car for my last opp.” She paused to nibble at another crisp golden fry. “I swear I was so bored at one point I think I would have made up a sighting just to be out of this car.” She complained as she glanced around the perimeter once more. 

“So this guy when’s he supposed to show up again?” Jay pulled the file out of the space between the center console and his seat before he continued. “I mean he’s a low level thug with minimal connections to the bigger score so why all the build up?” Jay commented as she wiped her greasy fingers down her jeans. 

“He’d be a good flip. He has enough intel to get us past the door but he’s low enough that he won’t be seen as information leak so really he’s a win win.” She said as she reached for the file. 

Jay handed it to her which caused their fingers to brush. His throat constricted and her skin flushed before they quickly drew apart. “So Marcus Collins is our mark then...” 

She nodded flipping through the various pages until she slowly scanned over the last one. “Yeah him and a woman who’s been spotted with him recently over the past few weeks.”

Jay’s skin burned, “What woman?” 

Erin paused. Her slim finger ran down the length of the page until she reached the end. “We have nothing but a grainy photo.” She moved the paperclip off the glossy print and pushed the photo towards him. 

Their fingers brushed once more as he accepted the picture. What he saw made his blood run cold. “You said we got this a few weeks ago?” His voice sounded hollow as he croaked out the question. 

She sighed, “Yeah according to the profile she’s been seen with him a few times but we suspect she might be a better leak than him however he’s more accessible and she’s like a damn ghost so...” 

Jay nodded. His words drifted out in tight spurts. “So how much longer are we going to wait? I don’t think he’s making an appearance today.” He shoved his free hand into his pocket checking the time as she spoke. 

“We can call it a day. We’ll start again tomorrow bright and early say 8am?” She uttered as the car once more sputtered to life. 

He answered glumly. “Yeah 8′s fine. His attention was no longer focused on the task at hand. 

She shifted the gear as the car moved forward her voice hummed through his body with strange almost electric feeling. “Hey got any plans for tonight?” She asked easily as downtown Chicago once more passed by around them. 

“Nothing really I was going to see my brother after his shift but that’s not till after 10 so I can spare a few hours why?” He questioned as her smile blazed over her face. 

“Good I wanna see that razor sharp aim of yours on full display Boy Scout.” 

He grinned perhaps for the first time with a true lightness in his heart. “Fine but winner buys...” 

She shot him a quick glance. “Deal..” 

 

* * *

 

 

His time with Erin ended too soon. She parked the car along the edge of the street as he bolted out. She called after him, “So tonight right?” 

He yelled back, “It’s a date Lindsay.” She smiled and headed up the steps while he went down the back alley. He reached into his pocket and swore. Three missed calls all from Agent Scott. He slammed his fist into the solid brick all. “Dammit” he yelled as his head fell forward. His plan had been simple. Get close to her, befriend her, gain her trust and finish the job. She was the key and if the flirting today was any indication she was easily fair game. His lungs ached as he inhaled deeply, “Why did she have to be so great...” he asked to the air around him. “Why did she have to have those soul piercing eyes or that killer smile...” He took another deep breath, “Why did he have care about her?” 

He swore again this time internally as he moved along the alley’s back wall. That was the problem he cared. He honestly and truly cared for her and that fact alone was going to get his brother killed. His shoulders sagged. He was in deep shit and the hole was only going to get deeper. He glanced at his phone as it once more vibrated against his side. He glanced at the id and smiled.   
Will hey, I thought you had a shift tonight?” 

His voice on the other end was gravely as he scoffed. “Yeah I’m on break I need a favor...” 

Jay’s eyes rolled, “What’s her name and why did she dump you?” He groaned as he Will’s voice cracked. 

“No it’s not that at all though why do you always assume they’ll dump me?” 

Jay hollered. “Really wanna talk about your last girlfriend or maybe the three before that you two week wonder!” 

He heard Will grunt. “Tracy was not my fault...” 

“Yeah nor was Tiffany, Beth or Rachal.” Jay prattled as he moved towards the edge of Navy Pier. 

“Fine look I just need you to pick me up after my shift okay can you do that for me?” 

Jay stilled. “Will are you telling me you wanna ride bitch on my bike?” 

Will snarled, “Just be here at 10:15 okay?” 

Jay snickered, “Yeah okay I’ll be there...” He took a breath before adding, “So what’s her name?” 

Will groaned. “None of you business jackass. I’ll see you later.” With that the call ended as Jay’s frown returned. He milled past the lines of families as they milled slowly around the pier. Children laughed and played while their parents watched from afar. His eyes followed a pair of two boys. They reminded him of him and Will as they ran around the playground attempting to tackle the other. The sight before him reminded him of why he was here and why his next deception had to go perfectly. 

He squared his shoulders as he neared the edge. She stood in the shadow of the massive Ferris Wheel as the wind whipped around her stern shoulders. Her hair was pulled into a tight bun which made her angular features even harder. Her black heels clicked along the cement of the boardwalk as she sneered. “You’re late Halstead.” 

He glared, “Sorry but after I almost blew my mission I felt I should make different choices.” 

She halted, “And did you?” 

He smirked, “Yes and I even managed to find another piece of very valuable information.” 

Her eyes shifted as ice dripped from her voice. “And...” 

He moved forward. His finger clasped around the edges of the stolen photo. His chest burned and his lower lip quivered in pure anger. “And I found a way to make this arrangement work to my advantage...” he barked as he shoved the picture towards her pale, lifeless face. 

She grew even colder as her skin began to turn blue. “It’s not what you’re thinking...” she warned. Her lips trembled as her knees shook. 

His eyes narrowed as his pulse quickened. “You have 30 seconds Scott I suggest you use them wisely...” 

What came next made his headache grow even stronger. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Say Hi to me on Tumblr @laurabelle2930! 
> 
> Let us know how we did!


	7. secrets, lies and a date...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 7 by Youknowitall

CPD Chapter 7 by @Captainolicitysbedroom ( tumblr ) 

Secrets, lies and a date...

Erin looked out of her window. It was already darkening outside but she could see her new partner standing across the street leaning against his car waiting for her. She was almost ready, she had no idea what to wear since she had no idea what he had planned. He’d called it a date but she wasn't sure what he meant. It could be a kind of getting to know her as a partner thing or maybe he just wanted to apologize for blowing her sting operation. She went for the casual look, Jeans shirt and sneakers. She had a feeling it would get colder. She switched of the lights and closed the front door behind her. A smile crept over her lips as she thought about spending some time with him.

Erin ran down the stairs and exited the building. A cold breeze hit her skin as she stepped outside and she was glad that she took the warm coat with her.

Her eyes searched for his. She found them smiling at her, she lifted her hand as to wave but half way through it she felt stupid, a blush spread over her cheeks. 

"Hi." He said and opened the driver door for her.

" Hi... wait. Am I driving?" She asked.

Jay smiled, "You said you always drive, remember?" He lifted a brow and tilted his head to the side. She lifted a foot into the car, turned her head to look at him and stretched out her arm. Jay placed the car keys in her palm and she winked at him.

Erin started the car and joined traffic. "Where are we going?" She asked turning to face him. 

"Eyes on the road, and I'll guide you." He said in a commanding tone. 

"O.k." Erin smiled at that and focused back on the road. He guided her through the city until they were standing in front of a big church. Erin's eyes fell on the large structure, the church was lit from the outside and it looked overwhelming.

"Are you planning on marrying me?" She teased and added "But you do know that this is our first date right?" Her heartbeat sped up at her joke, she took a long breath and saw him sigh and shake his head. He stepped out of the car. Erin watched him through the window as her smile grew brighter. The driver’s door opened, he held his hand out for her to take it. "A Gentleman, I like it!" she commented and took his hand. As soon as her hand touched his something in her shifted. She stepped out of the car and on to the sidewalk and let go of his hand. This wasn't good, not good at all. She thought and stepped a few steps away from him. Somehow this was new for her, never before had she felt something similar with somebody she’d dated before. But before she could think about it further Jay spoke up.

"C'mon, this way." He pointed in the direction that led them to a snack bar next to the church. He started to walk and she followed without a word. They ordered beers and burgers with fries as they leaned on a high table next to the bar. It was dark outside and cold. But neither of them cared, Erin was enjoyed the simplicity of their date. She wasn't a fan of fancy restaurants and to small dresses that never fit.

Jay was about to take a bite of his burgerwhen Erin asked "So why did you join the unit?" He almost choked on his food in reply, his eyes searching her face. 

He caught himself staring at her, "You don't have to answer that one, forget that I asked." She said quickly. 

"No, it's.. It’s fine. I was in the military and came back a few months ago. And I needed a job. So a friend of mine hooked me up with this one and they hired me." She nodded as if she'd understand him, that was almost too easy he thought. "And you? What has a girl like you joining the police force?" He looked at her curious. Erin's face went pale. Jay noticed and said, "You don't have to tell me unless you're ready." Erin felt relieved and her trust in him grew.

She was glad that he hadn't pushed her on the matter but she also felt a little bit guilty because he had opened up to her about his past. Sometimes she wished it was simple to talk about her past like normal people. She was about to say something to change the subject but Jay spoke up first.

"So, tell me about the undercover work you had to do in that shady bar when I saw you the first time." Erin narrowed her eyes at that but he only smiled at her.

"You really pissed me off." She said trying to sound angry.  
"You know, I bought the whole “I'm on drugs look” I really thought you were..."

"I was what?" She laid down her burger and watched him with a heat in her eyes she hadn't known was there anymore. She thought that her past would stay in her past. She hadn't let her guard down in a long time, and now a man she barely knew managed to bring it all back. (He managed to) take downthe walls she built with so much effort in a matter of hours. She hadn't liked at all. Suddenly she wasn't hungry anymore.

Erin noticed her change of mood, she knew that she had shown Jay a side of her that she wasn't ready for him to see. She took a long breath, put a smile on her face and tried to act normal. She pushed the thoughts away and was just lifting up her burger again when she felt Jay move against her. Erin turned to look at him and then his lips were on hers. Gentle at first, Jay pulled her closer and Erin almost lost her step but he held her in place. Her body melted into his and her hand moved to the back of his neck, she dug her fingers into his skull and parted her lips some more. Jay's tongue claimed her mouth, he tried to pull her closer to his body but their clothes wouldn't allow it. After a few second or minutes, Erin couldn't tell, Jay gently let go of her, she looked at him with wide eyes. She licked over her lower lip and a blush spread up her cheeks. Well that she’d never expected. She was sure she scared him away but instead he had kissed her. Her mind was foggy and went to places she wasn't ready to think about, at all.  
　  
Jay noticed the change of mood instantly. He was worried that he went too far too fast, his cover was at risk. He now knew that if he wanted to use her to get to Voight, he had to stop asking questions about her past. There were obviously some things that she wanted to stay in the past and he respected that, he really had but that meant that he had to come up with a new plan to make her trust him and before he could think about it any further he had kissed her. Jay mentally punched himself for not thinking this through, but as soon as she leaned into him he threw his worries over board. He felt her small body lean into him, her fingers brushed through his hair and when his tongue moved he swore he heard her moan into his mouth. She made him crazy, made him forget everything around them. It was like the first time he saw her. She was everything then and now it happened again. She was like a drug he’d tasted and he wasn't sure what he'd do next. They kissed and it felt like forever. Suddenly his thoughts went back to why he was doing this and he took a step back. He saw her look at him with her big brown eyes and then, even with her face in the shadows of the night, he saw her blushing. His features softened at that and he kept his eyes on her.

They had finished their food and talked after that, the cold of the night long forgotten. At some point he’d noticed that it was getting late but he hadn't anywhere else to be anyway. He made a mental note to rise early in the morning to collect his thoughts and to not jeopardize the task.

Something in him told him to stop but he wasn't going to listen to that small voice in the back of his head, not yet when he was so close in getting the information that he needed to save his brother.

 

His brother....

 

Will stood outside the hospital waiting for Jay to arrive when he was approached by a young man. He asked him if he was a doctor and if he could help his friend who was in the car. His gut told him that something didn’t add up but his oath made him go with the man. He regretted it the moment they were next to that car. Three other men surrounded him and before he even could ask what was going on they were attacking him.

He fell to the ground. Hard.

His head scratched over the asphalt with every punch and kick he was dealt. He could feel the skin on his cheek rip open and the warm blood as it dripped to the ground. He heard his rips break. Will held his hands up to protect his face from further punches. His left eye was swollen shut. The three men kicked him over and over again. He felt his throat burn as he struggled to scream. No one came, no one knew too come. He was alone, beaten, bloodied and broken on the ground.

Where the hell was Jay? He was supposed to pick him up, where are you Jay? He heard himself whisper over and over again, like a mantra that would get him through the pain he felt. He wasn't sure how much time had passed until the guys finally ran off and left him there on the asphalt bleeding. They said something to him before they ran away but he couldn't understand a word. His body was curled up he held his legs to his stomach afraid that if he let go of them the pain would get worse, so he didn't move not one muscle he just laid there. He thought about why Jay hadn't shown up, why his colleagues hadn't found him yet. He felt a single tear roll down his face, then another and another until the tears were sobs. His body started shaking. He felt cold and alone in this misery he’d created for himself. He should have never gotten into business with the Chicago Mob.

The tears stopped dropping down and Will gathered himself back together. He wasn't going to die in a parking lot outside of his workplace today. He tried to scream into the night.

Nobody heard.

He tried again. And again. And again.

The world went dark.

 

　  
"Shit!!!!" Jay shouted. The clock on his watch said 10.28 pm. He was supposed to pick Will up at the hospital after shift and he’d forgotten. Erin watched him with ease as he dialed his brother’s number and waited for him to answer. He didn’t 't. Jay let out the breath he hadn't noticed he was holding and tried again. 

"Maybe  
he's still working?" She tried to calm him down a bit with a small smile. 

"No, he would have texted me if that was the case." Jay said sharply. 

"I'm sorry it wasn't my intention to..." Erin was cut of by him touching her forearm 

"Don't apologize, I'm sorry for snapping at you." He said more calmly. He knew she would ask questions later about what was going on and why he was so on edge but it would have to wait. He had a feeling that this was getting worse by day. He had to figure out a story to tell Lindsay that wouldn't involve : Our mom died and then out of sadness or stupidity my brother went gambling and lost a lot of money, so he went to the Chicago mob for more money and instead of paying it back he had to drive a truck full of guns to an abandoned warehouse and got caught by a special organization from the FBI and now the woman Miss Scott herself who was supposed to keep his brother safe might be more corrupt than the unit of the CPD that Jay was undercover at. She was spotted on that damn picture with the right hand man of a Mob Boss. Now that he thought about it, it felt surreal. How was he supposed to get out of that alive? And the better question was how was he going to solve all of this and keep his friendssafe?

After six times of trying to reach his brother Erin suggested just to drive by his brothers place to see if he was home already. "I'm sure he's just pissed that you forgot him." She said but her face let him see the concern she held away.

"Let's go. I'll drop you off at your place first." Jay said while they got into the car. Erin nodded as she handed him the car keys and tried to get comfortable, Jay made her nervous and when he joined traffic and sped through the city with the sirens on. She couldn't help but notice that he was on edge. He was far more rattled than he wanted her to see. She was sure that there was something going on between him and his brother Will.  
　  
Erin glanced over at Jay. His eyes were glued on the road ahead of him. The street lights passed by fast and Erin noticed the change in the sky, the color of the clouds was almost yellow,before it started to snow. The city looked busy while Jay drove fast, the sirens felt like a disturbance to the quiet night.

She knew that something hadn't added up. She felt it in her gut. The way Jay acted since he saw what time it was, was very suspicious. She had let it go because the way he acted had made her worry too but that wouldn't mean that she would let this go so easily. Why was it so important to him to pick up his brother from work?

Jay caught her starring at him but she didn’t mind, she kept her eyes on him even when he focused back on the road. Suddenly he stripped out of his coat and handed it to her. She looked at him with a strange expression. 

"You're freezing, take it!" He made an effort for her to take it again.  
She took it.

"You know I'm gonna look like an Eskimo when I put this on. I already have a coat but I can use it like a blanket." She laid it down on her legs. 

"Just put it on." His face showed no hesitation as he swiftly ended the small bit of discord.

Her fingers were cold. Jay hadn't put on the heater in the car and she hadn't either. To be honest she hadn't thought about that at all. She unfastened her seatbelt and put on his coat. A wave of his aftershave hit her nose. She took a few long breath of the manly scent before she fastened her seatbelt again. She felt cozy, almost like this was her own little bubble and the world around her would not harm her as long as she was just here in this car surrounded by his scent. But she knew that she shouldn't allow herself these few seconds of dreaming. She would only get hurt at the end. As much as she wanted it to be real, she still felt strange. Something about him had made her feel safe and that scared the shit out of her.

Erin felt the sharp, crinkled edges of a thin object as her fingers grazed over his pockets inner seam, she turned her head to see if Jay was looking at her but he was still watching the road. Erin pulled it out a little bit and took in a sharp breath when she saw that it was the photo of the woman she showed him during their surveillance. She put it back into the pocket and acted like nothing was out of the ordinary. But her mind was already running away with her.

All Jay could think of was Will. He drove as fast as he could through the night. After a long ride they finally arrived at Erin's place. He stopped the car as the silence spread out between them, if he had to guess why it was because of all the lies and secrets between them. He knew that she didn’t know anything so he wasn't worried but still the pit in his stomach grew. Maybe it was because he wasn't sure if he should kiss her again. Jay decided in haste to kiss her on the cheek, he caught her by surprise and he saw her unsure expression.

"See you tomorrow, and I hope your brother is ok. Let me know as soon as you know ok?" Erin said while getting out of the car. 

Jay nodded " See you tomorrow Voight's girl. Good night." 

She was about to close the door when he added "I am sorry the date went south. I hope we can do this again sometime?!" It was more a question than a statement. 

" Yes, I'd love to Boy Scout!" She teased, closing the door as she made her way up the stairs in to her apartment building.

 

Jay arrived at the hospital and was met by Nat, she ran to him like a crazy woman and shouted words he couldn't understand. " Breathe Nat." He tried to calm her down. Nat was shaking, the snow was falling down on their bodies and Jay wanted to give her his coat, but his coat was gone. At this he smiled as the picture in his head with Erin wearing his coat began to form…

Then a jolt of fear ran through his entire body. He’d just come to the realization that the stolen picture was still in the pocket. He was screwed. Big time!!!


	8. Promises

Promises

The sky was turning dark, a storm was coming. The wind blew around her body causing her to pull her coat closer to her body as she stepped from one foot on the other. Her usually well done hair was was lightly strewn around her wind burned face. 

She had waited for over thirty minutes now and it made her nervous. She wasn't used to waiting for people, usually people waited for her. She was a high ranking Agent of the FBI. She had worked her ass off to get where she was today but recently something had changed.   
She was standing close to a shipping container in the shadows and was about to leave for good when she saw lights coming her way. She straightened herself and stepped forward. 

The car came to a halt in front of her and three men stepped out of it. They were all dressed in black and it reminded her of a bad movie she’d recently watched. She ordered her thoughts and focused back on the man who was now standing in front of her. 

"Finally." She said taking a step forward. 

The man said nothing just watched her. He was tall with black hair. She could make out a small scar above his left eye.   
"I got some intel that you’re working with a police Detective named Hank Voight. Ring any bells?" Her voice was shrill as the wind continued to whip wildly around them.  
"No, I don't know who that is." He watched her closely. " Now, do you want to buy or not?" He said as he stepped a little closer and pulled out a small bag out of his jacket pocket. She took it from him and handed him the money. " Always a pleasure doing business with you,” he called out as she just walked away. 

 

A few days later.....

 

Joanna Scotts phone rang. She had just arrived home from a long day at the office and was about to switch on the tv when she answered it. " Scott."

" You said you'd protect him if I helped you get to Voight!!" Jay Halstead shouted into the phone. Her body stiffened. "What the hell happened?" " Someone almost beat him to death. He is in surgery now. The doc said it doesn't look good. You promised you'd protect him!" The voice on the other end of her phone almost broke.

" Just keep doing what we talked about, I’ll see what I can do." She said calmly. 

" You find the ones responsible or I swear to god.."

She cut him off. " Or what Detective Halstead?" Her voice was icier with every word that came out of her mouth " You do what I say or you brother goes to jail for a long, long, time. Do we understand each other?" She was pacing in her living room but she knew that Jay Halstead hadn't noticed any of her nervousness.   
" If he lives, but if not you can go to hell." The line went dead. 

She threw her phone at the wall, little pieces landed in front of her feet. This wasn't supposed to go down this way, she needed a win otherwise her career was over. She went into her kitchen and pulled out the brush in the cabinet under her sink. This was getting messy, she had hoped to get it done as fast as possible but with the events that recently happened she had to rethink her whole operation. 

Jay sat on a chair in the waiting area of the hospital. Natalie had left him an hour ago to check on her patients. She had told him that Will was in serious condition. He had suffered massive trauma to the head and they weren't sure if he was going to make it. Pacing he thought about why this had happened. Hours went by as he sat in that chair waiting for the doctor to arrive. Nat, joined him when she had time and tried to convince him that everything was going to be fine.

" Why don't you go in there and ask?" Jay pleaded. 

"No, I won't distract them, they will come out soon. I'm sure,” She answered. His hand stroked through his hair. The guilt building up inside until he felt it twisting in the bottom of his gut. It was his fault that this had happened. He should have been there. Instead he was on a date with a girl he’d really started to like but shouldn't have. He did this to save his brother’s life and now that life was in danger because of this mission and him. 

He had such a good time with Erin that he simply forgotten. He reminded himself of this over and over again. Jay sat on the chair his head in his hands as finally after hours Dr. Rhodes came to see him. Jay stood up and Natalie joined him on his side. Her hand slipped into his as their eyes searched the doctors.   
Colin Rhodes took off his operational hood and shook his head. " I am so sorry. There was nothing left we could do. We tried, but at the end we lost him. The damage to his skull was too severe." 

A scream left his lungs before he knew it. His body moved towards Rhodes, he grabbed him and slammed him into the wall. "Why? why? Why didn't you save him?" Jay pressed as his arm slammed forward against Colin’s throat. Jay shouted at him as Natalie attempted to pull him away from Rhode’s.

He finally pulled back when he noticed what he’d done before apologizing to them both. Nat stayed with him and tried to comfort him but all he wanted was to be alone. "Please leave me alone for a moment, Nat." Nodding she left him in the empty sitting area. Jay turned around and let his fist fly towards the wall. His knuckles bleed but he didn’t care. He leaned against the wall. His hands placed on his face as he tried to understand what had just happened. Tears rolled down his cheek as he let himself sink to the grey hospital floor. Not believing what just had happened he called the number he first thought of when he got the news that his brother Will was dead.

It was already morning when Erin arrived at the hospital. She came here as fast as she could after Jay had called her and told her what happened. She got out of her car and saw Jay coming her way, his posture was rigid as he closed the distance between them. His gaze looked haunted, he had dark rings under his eyes and she could tell that he hadn't slept this past night. Without a word she pulled him into her body and hugged him tight. He let her hold him, let her comfort him. He hugged her back. They stood like this for mere minutes neither of them letting go. " I am so sorry Jay, this is..." 

"No it is not your fault Erin." He cut her of. Yes he could say that it was her fault, he could put it all on her and he also could put it on himself, he was the one not showing up on time after all, but he knew it wouldn't change a thing. It wouldn't help putting that guilt on someone or himself. Deep inside he knew that Will had made his own choices in life and that it had ended badly. All he could do now, was find whoever was responsible for what happened to him. And with his brother gone he could tell Erin the truth. Maybe she'd help him find the ones responsible. 

Jay loosened the grip on Erin and took a step back. " I need to tell you something." Regret showed up on his face but he still continued to talk. " Before I tell you the whole story you need to know that I really like you Erin." His eyes pierced hers as he inhaled deeply. 

He told her everything. From the very beginning until the very sad ending. Erin just stood there in the parking lot in front of her car listening to every word that came out of his mouth. She didn't interrupt him, not once. She let him tell her everything and by the time Jay was done she didn't know what to feel and think anymore. 

After he was done they just looked at each other, no one was moving, not even an inch. Erin eyes roamed over his face searching for something that told her he’d lied but she couldn't find any indication. Somehow she wished he’d lied to her. Maybe because she had felt like a teenager again with this new hot guy wanting to date her, her the girl with the dark past and trouble written all over her. She thought that this was a chance for something new, something better. But apparently that wasn't the case. He had used her for his own agenda. He had said all those things so she would fall in love with him only for her to trust him with information about the man who’d taken her in when she was only a child of twelve. All he wanted was to infiltrate her life and find evidence from the people she’d called her family. Anger rose deep in her belly and before she knew it her hand flew through the air hitting Jay in the face. 

He just stood there watching her. His gaze somehow pleading as Erin turned around and walked away.   
He kept standing in the same spot, watching her get in the car only to disappear into the city streets.   
His legs gave in underneath him as he landed on the cold hard ground. His sobs escaped his tight lips in a loud mournful cry. "Don't leave me alone with me." He whispered knowing she couldn't hear him. He let his head fall and closed his eyes. 

He felt defeated.

Erin had to stop the car because the tears in her eyes had made it difficult to see the road ahead of her. She had stopped in a quiet neighborhood near the precinct. She cleaned her face from the many fallen tears. She was stronger than this she thought to herself as she tried to pull herself together. She was used to getting disappointed, but somehow this felt different. She really liked Jay and the betrayal she felt was eating her from inside. Yes when they first met she wanted to strangle him with his stupid Boy Scout behavior but somewhere along their short (time together they’d clicked. He’d seen past her past darkness and shed some much needed light). He’d made her feel alive again.   
Nobody had made her feel that way ever. She took her phone out and dialed his number. 

"Erin, " 

" Meet me at my house tonight at eight. Sharp." Her voice still sounded shaky so she didn't wait for him to respond before she hung up.She started the car again and made her way home, wondering if she’d made the right choice by hearing him out one more time. She wanted to prepare for the conversation they were going to have eventually.  
Jay stood in his lone, often cold shower as he thought about Joanna Scott's role in this whole operation. What was she up to? Was she in this as well? Was she buying something from them? All these questions he was going to get answers to. And maybe even with the help of his new partner Erin Lindsay.

He put on some blue jeans and a black shirt, He took his coat from the drawer in the hallway and walked out of his apartment. He had to walk to Erin's because he had left his car at the hospital. The sky was cloudy and he could tell that it would start to rain again soon. As he walked the loud streets he thought about his brother. Sadness overtook him as he felt his inside burn up. Jay promised himself that he would do everything in his power to get justice for his brother. He was going to bring down everyone who would stand in his way. 

Thunder roared high above his head and he hastened his steps. Big raindrops landed on his head and coat. The sky was now dark, the big clouds hung low in the sky. Thunder rolled over the city and a flash of lightening illuminated the sky. By the time Jay arrived at Erin's he was drenched. His clothes clung thighly around his body. His jeans hung low on his hips and curved snugly around his calves. He pressed the doorbell and while he waited for her to answer. While he waited he glanced at the time on the Swiss watch that an army friend had gifted him. It was five to eight, good he was still on time he smiled as the building door opened and he stepped inside.   
He climbed the four floors until he was standing in front of her open door. He saw Erin leaning on the doorframe the moment he stepped into the hallway. She didn't smile, just watched him close the space between them. Drops of water fell down on the wooden floor of her apartment. She had let him in and he was now standing in her wide open living room. The lights of several lamps gave her home a warm touch. She watched him standing there; he looked like a beaten dog. He was wet from head to toe. Under his eyes were dark rings and his hollow face showed nothing but pain.   
She felt for him, she really did. She knew how it was too lose a family member but that didn't erase the fact that he had used her to his benefit. 

"You really should get out of those clothes." Erin said leaning against the kitchen door. Jay's body stiffened and he looked at her with an eyebrow raised. "Shit... I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that you should get out of those clothes because I don't want you to die of hypothermia ." 

He tried to save her rant. " Do you have something I can change into?" 

Erin left the living room to come back a few minutes later with a pair of sweats and a navy blue shirt. He looked at her questioningly. "Kelly left them here. I'm sure he doesn't mind you wearing them."   
Jay took them from her and looked around. He had no idea where the bathroom was so he walked in the direction Erin came back from. " Through my bedroom, the door on your left." She said and walked into the kitchen to make some hot coffee. 

Jay walked back to the living room and noticed that the puddle of water he made earlier had disappeared. He sat down on the soft grey couch she had placed in the middle of the room. In front of the couch stood a small glass table. He felt himself warm up a little in the dry clothes. Erin walked back with two cups of coffee in her hands and placed them on the round table. " Here. " She held one of the cups out to him and Jay took it and held on to it with both hands. She smiled at him as he muttered a thank you and then sipped at his coffee. 

They sat there quietly for minutes drinking their coffee's. An awkward silence stretched between them. The air around them getting thicker and thicker until he couldn't take it anymore. " I owe you an apology. I know that I behaved like an ass but you got to understand that I was blackmailed in to it. I mean of course it was my choice to do it but I only did it to prevent my brother Will from going to jail." He took a deep breath and studied her face.   
Erin looked back at him nodding. She got all that, she really did but she still was hurt. She tried to focus on the task that mattered now more than her feelings. She straightened her back and looked at him. " Look, you and me " She moved the finger between their body's, " Not happening. That kiss was a one time thing. Got it?" She didn't wait for him to answer, instead she continued in a monotone tone " I'll help you with the case but that's it. I’ll have your back as your partner but don't believe for one second that I will ever fall for that charming Boy Scout thing what you have going on ever again."   
" I can work with that." Jay said. This was more than he hoped for, more than he deserved really. He settled back into the couch and finished his coffee. They'd have to talk business soon enough. He let the words she just said to him settle in as a sadness he never knew he could feel spread throughout his entire body.   
"You look like shit." Jay turned his head to look at her. 

"Thanks I guess." He said as a small smile formed on their faces. "Wanna take a shower and sleep a little before we talk about the case?" She got up to get him a towel from her bathroom cabinet before he even could answer her. "Thanks but..." She cut him off with a look that told him not to contradict. So he took the towel and made his way back into the bathroom. 

As he stood under the hot water that caressed his sore skin he suddenly felt very very tired. The events of the previous days were hitting back on him, making him feel the weight of the loss he carried around for so long. He felt the lone tear fall before it mixed with the water running down the drain.


	9. "WE"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay is devastated and Erin will help him with get trough his grief.

The room was dark. He heard the sound of rain outside. It felt good to hear the rain when you were in bed all warm and cuddled. He rolled over. The linens smelled really good. Jay woke more fully and realized he didn't know where he was. He quickly sat up on the edge of the bed and put his feet on the cold floor to try and pull himself together.

He didn't recognize anything, he ran his hands over his face and hair as he came to his senses and realized that he was in her room. How long had he slept? He got up and looked through the window, the city was still full of life, but he was barely breathing.

He checked the time on his watch. It was half past ten. He had slept for two hours. He got distracted by a noise in the kitchen and heard some cursing. She must be in a good mood, he thought sarcastically.

Instead of going straight to the kitchen he passed through the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror. He was a complete wreck. His eyes were darker than they use to be, the grief was responsible for that. The dark circles were still there and he still felt very tired but he needed to know what Erin wanted to do. It seemed she was going to be helping him and he was grateful for that. He would never be able to thank her enough for not leaving him alone on this.

A single tear started to fall. He wiped it away with the back of his hand quickly, almost hiding from himself the pain and suffering that was consuming him. He wanted revenge, oh he wanted revenge so bad. He closed his hands in fists and punched the wall, little drops of blood started to form on his knuckles.

He needed to stop this, his hands were full of bruises. He cleaned the blood with some toilet paper and tried to find something to put on the open wounds in the medicine cabinet. He felt a little evasive for look at all her stuff but he needed something to fix his hands.

He he fixed them up the best he could and went straight to the kitchen, following the sound of her noise. He leaned against the door watching her struggle with a mushroom can. She didn't hear him so he stayed there and enjoyed the moment. A big smile spread across his face and for a moment he forgot all the pain and rage that he was felling.

Damn she's beautiful, he said to himself, why'd you screw this up man! This could have had a great thing, and now she doesn't even want to look you in the eyes.

He cleared his throat. "Hum, you need help with that?"

She raised her head from the can, put the knife on the counter and smiled at him. He was really awesome, even now all beat and a little haunted. His boy scout look was still there. She thought back to their date, their kiss and the sensation of being alive again that she felt when they were together that night.

He really looked devastated. Her heart melted a little. Unfortunately she knew what he had been through. She could feel the guilt that he had weighing on him. But she was still very hurt. She had trusted him and he used her and the only people that she could call family. As much as she liked him, and she had no doubt that she was falling for him, she couldn't forgive him just like that. She doubted she would ever really trust him again.

But now he needed her help and she was his partner so she would help him. She smiled at him trying to clear her head. "You sleep well? You look better."

"No I don’t!"

"Sorry you really don’t… But I assume you must feel better now?"

"A little, yes, thank you."

"You're welcome and yes I need help. I was trying to fix you some eggs. I thought you would be hungry but the easy opener broke and now I'm trying to open this stupid can with a knife but apparently I'm not very good at it."

He picked the knife up from the counter and made a little hole in the can cutting the rest by rolling it. He handed the can to her with a smirk.

"Thank you, you are very handy."

She finished preparing the eggs, took two beers from the fridge and offered him one, opened the other one and took a sip.

"So are you a good cook, Voight’s girl?"

"You tell me." She said offering him the plate with a shy smile on her face.

"It's tasty," he said smiling. She looks at him with a grin on her face. "I'm telling the true, it's good, you're approved."

"Thank you." She said, taking a sip from her beer. They ate together in awkward silence until she asked, "Before we talk about what we are going to do about all this mess I need to know, is there something more? I don't want more lies."

Jay took another sip of his beer and looked down at his plate. "This was a good meal Erin, thank you very much."

"Don’t change the subject Jay."

"No, I told you everything." He couldn't face her because there was something more, and he couldn't forget about it, but he didn't do it so he didn't need to tell her. Or maybe he should tell her. It was probably better to put all on the table.

"Are you sure? If you want me to even think about believe in you and all of this craziness you need to be completely honest with me."

"Actually there is one more thing. It didn't happen so it's no big deal and I know I couldn’t do it anyway."

"What?" She look at him straight in his eyes, he looked down again, he couldn't face her. "Tell me Jay."

"I planned your kidnapping."

Her face clouded in anger, for a second he thought that she was going to punch him. He watched her close her firsts so tight her hands turned red.

"I thought it was the only way to get Voight in my hands. I was desperate and... I didn’t do it ok! So... Look I'm sorry, I really am, but I was being harassed by agent Scott and I started having trouble seeing the light at the end of the tunnel."

Erin stayed quiet and looked at him. He tried to grab her hand but she rejected him. For a minute they just stayed there looking at each other and then tears started falling from his eyes. "I'm so sorry Erin this really got out of control and with my brother's life on the line I wasn't able to think straight. It was all for nothing now because my brother is dead and I really don't know what to do now. I threw out this really good thing that we could have had for what? For my dead brother … It was all for nothing..." Jay said in a broken voice, while his eyes welled up with tears.

Erin tried to look tough but she felt the tears coming, she made every effort to stop them but the tears were dancing in her eyes. He look so broken, she imagined how despaired he might be for thinking about kidnapping her. Oh she hated all this mess, she liked him but she couldn't forgive him, she just wished that this guy had never enter on her life. He appeared out of nowhere, made her believe that her life could be more colorful again and then he turned out to be using her.

She looked in his eyes and could see he genuinely regretted all that he had done. His eyes were darker than she remember. She shook her head to clear her thoughts and then she spoke, her tone was low and raspy. "Ok, now that you got that all off your chest, what you want to do?"

"I want to... I want to put those guys behind bars, I'm so pissed that I could kill them with my own hands, with these fists." Jay said showing her his fists, Erin notice the bruises, silently she grabbed his hands, the ones that she had rejected minutes early. The anger was palpable in him. It occurred to her that he probably shouldn't be left alone, an ex-military like him, with all that anger and grief, he'd probably do something stupid.

"Ok so let’s think straight, we go after the guys that killed your brother, which means we go after the Chicago Mob and Agent Scott, what do you want to do with her?" She picked up the picture that she had found in his jacket pocket, the picture that he stole from the file, and showed it to him.

"I'm sorry about that, but when I saw her with those guys I thought I could use it as a way to get her off my back."

"Just tell me what you want to do about her."

"We will make her talk, we need to know why she's after Voight, don't you think?"

Erin nodded in agreement. "You know that we need to tell Voight right?"

His face almost made her laugh. His eyes went wide and it seems like he wanted to say something but was afraid. "Are you sure that is a good idea? I mean I betrayed you all."

"Look I’m not going to tell him everything, if I did that he'd probably kill you and throw you in the river." She said with a small smile. "But we need the team on this. We tell him that your brother was beaten and died because he had game debts and that the Mob was involved and we want to get them. I think we will use Agent Scott to get to them. What do you think?"

"Very good Detective Lindsay." He smiled at her.

Finally a smile, she thought. "Thank you Detective Halstead, I'm glad that I manage to make you smile."

He ran his hands across his face and then he lay back on the couch trying to relax, but his brother’s face haunted him again. He traveled back to the last conversation that they had, but Erin interrupted his thoughts. "There's one more thing that you need do."He looked at her confused. "The funeral."

He nodded in agreement and added, "It will be something simple; I was the only family he had."

Another awkward silence settled between them. Apparently his father was out of the picture, she though to herself. Their silence was interrupt by his phone ringing. He answered, "Halstead."

"Jay, its Natalie, from the hospital," Her voice was choked and weepy. "I'm calling to ask if you already made the arrangements for the funeral and if you need my help with anything." He heard the grief in her voice and knew she was struggling not to show it.

"Hi Natalie, I'm trying to arrange that yes. As soon as I have details I will call you, thank you for your offer."

"Oh I just want to help, I need to keep my self busy, and it’s really too much to..."Jay heard her sniffle. "Sorry... just call me if you need anything, ok?"

"Yes, Natalie I will do that. Thank you again." She hung up and Erin looked at him, his eyes were darker again. "Natalie? Your brother’s college?"

"Yes. She sounds devastated."

"So they were close?"

"I think so. My brother didn't really talk much about his life, I know that he was always jumping from one girl to another, but lately he didn't want to talk about his new love interest so I don’t know, maybe they had something going on. I know that they've been friends for a while now, but every time that I talked about her he always seemed very protective. Maybe she was more than a friend. He seemed more grounded these days. " Jay saw the sad irony, now that Will may have found someone worth sticking with he was gone.

He put the phone back in his pocket and lay back on the couch again. He stayed there in silence for a minute or two and then looked at his watch, "Oh shit it's really late, I need to get home."

"You should stay here tonight." He raised his eyebrow in surprise.

"Oh no, I don’t mean like that mister. Really don't go there. I told you I will help you because you are my partner and nothing more. WE doesn't exist." She said making quotation marks with her fingers when she said we.

He felt that last sentence like a slap on his face, but she was right so he agrees, "Ok, got it."He looked down, unable to face her again. He knew that he had ruined the only good thing that he had going on in his life right now.

She got up and went to her bedroom. He stood and looked at the empty living room wondering what to do with himself. He looked around to try and find his clothes, but they weren't here, nor in the kitchen. Erin returned carrying bedding and a pillow. She placed them on the couch. "You shouldn't be alone tonight. You're on edge and I'm afraid you'll do something you'll regret. So you are staying here on the couch. I already washed your clothes and put them in the dryer for the morning. Tomorrow we go to Voight, tell him about your brother and then we go after Agent Scott. In the meantime I asked Platt to call the mortuary that usually works with the Precinct to make the arrangements for the funeral."

He just stood there looking at her, amazed by her ability to manage everything. "Platt? Desk Sargent Platt? Are you sure? She is not very nice, why would you think that she will do that for me?"

"Not for you. She'll do it for me.We're close."  
He raised his eyebrow again. She really liked that about him, he looked so hot when he did that. She shook the thought away, annoyed that he kept getting to her. She reminded herself that she couldn't have feelings for him. "Yes there's a lot that you don’t know about me," she replied to his unspoken question, "Now you should get some sleep. Good night."

Just like that she went to her room, leaving him standing alone in the living room. He sat on the couch. He felt numb, all the craziness of the day taking over him. Jay made up the bed then spent a few minutes rolling around to find a comfortable position. Surprisingly sleep came immediately.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Erin was woken by a wheezing noise. It took her a minute to figure out what it was, until she remembered Jay sleeping in the next room. She got up, covered her pyjamas with a sweatshirt and went to the living room. He was sitting up on the couch shaking and all sweaty with both hands on his head, mumbling something to himself.

"Are you ok?" She approached cautiously. He looked up, trying to talk but words wouldn't come so he just nodded and continued to shake.

She came and knelt down in front of him, grabbing his hands and whispered, "It's ok you're not alone. "

He lifted his head and looked at her, his eyes haunted, "Pa... Panic attacks... I... I get them... since I got back from overseas."

"It’s ok, just breadth slowly," She hugged him. He put his arms around her and lay his head on her shoulder. Her closeness felt so good. The tremors slowly started to decrease, more of his weight resting in her. She felt his heart start to slow.

"Thank you for this. It's hard to be alone with my self right now... thank you. "She just nodded and kept on hugging him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy. Comments and kudos are welcome.  
> Justkillingtimewhileiwait thank you very much. ;)


	10. Chapter 10

She was desperate. The situation was turning against her and she’d started to feel like a trapped animal. Trapped in the corner without a way out of this and now she had only two choices left. She could give up and surrender or she could almost self destructively fight her way out of the situation she has no control of. She could decide instinctively as her nature often does. For her it wasn’t a dead end it was just a one way road. She would fight back. She hadn’t come all this way in a traditionally man oriented business by giving up. She hadn’t become Agent Scott just because of her good looks because let’s be honest she was a confident woman and she was totally willing to use her appearance beneficially for her career too.

She has done it in the past. She was a young and discerning woman. She had a certain affect on the opposite sex and she’d noticed it from an early age. She was not even in her mid-twenties and still in the police academy then, she had her interest peaked by her instructor at that time. She wasn’t the most beautiful girl in her class, but there was something special about her. She seemed like she’d already figured out the world and she’d stood proudly at her chosen place in it. The way she moved, walked, even talked, was confident enough that had everybody thinking, that this young officer had a fire about her.

She was smart not the “know it all” kind of smart that people always found annoying or even threatening. She was willing to find out anything, that she hadn’t already known and she was a great investigator. She could hold her own in any conversation whether sophisticated or ordinary complex situations didn’t cause her skin to flush, she was taught to speak her mind and to defend her thoughts and beliefs.

That trait was admired by everyone including her instructor. When that same instructor approached her for a training offer, she seized the opportunity to both join the agency and chase him as well. At this point she wasn’t highly interested in the career opportunity, but him. And so it played out. She was like a modern Cleopatra; a seductress that could turn everything to her benefit whether the situation was good or bad. She was a leader and a damn good one.

He got her into the agency and watched her improve step by step, all the way up until she became his partner. When they were finally equals, he was no longer a Pygmalion and she was no longer Galatea to him. She felt the positions shifting as the days wore on until finally she’d had enough. Throwing caution to the wind she finally freed her of any restrains and became his partner in every possible way. In the beginning it was good, at least, they fit together like puzzle pieces. They were the perfect match. But as the time passed she knew it wasn’t enough for her. When she realized that he’d became a dead weight for her she made a decision. A hard one. But choosing between anyone and herself wasn’t a dilemma. She chose herself and by doing that she was leaving him behind and moving forward with her uprising career.

That was her decision then. Now her choice was just as hard. Now for survival she had to come up with a solid plan. And this plan had to be a damn good one. She was a resourceful person. After all she’d always pulled bunnies from hats, she was an opportunist and a talented one.

She’d manage to promise a deal to detective Halstead without ever getting authorization from her agency to do so. She took this risk a while ago and until lately things had gone smoothly. She was exploiting a detective a daring move yes but it wasn’t a long shot. It was a calculated risk. He was a smart guy and it was his job to finally figure out Voight. What made Halstead perfect was his desperation and him being a grown up Boy Scout greatly aided her cause. He has the belief in honor and this naive habit taking other people’s word as the truth so if it wasn’t her somebody else would figure out about his brothers problems and take advantage of him. It would be a waste after all she wasn’t harming him nor was she after something bad. She did this for her career by giving a good man false hope for his brothers and then his redemption.

Nights were the worth however. Her sins danced before in every mirrored surface she owned. She initially was concerned that he’d figured out her lie about his brother but it wasn’t that. He found a photo of her in a surveillance photo. Hell it was from one of his cases. The moron had even threatened her. Her! Halstead had threatened and FBI agent with one damn photo. Halstead could find proof that she was dirty and he was going to reveal everything in the same way she tried to reveal everything about Hank Voight. It probably would be her word against his but she wasn’t silly enough to wait until the whole case was used against her. And now that his brother was murdered, she’d lost her leverage weakening her hold on Halstead. He now could become unpredictable at any given moment. Everything was now being rapidly rushed forward.

She was determined to make her move. She just had to figure which move one would secure not only her survival but her career too. This was doubtful but she had to try. As she paced around her spacious apartment she tried to recall every single detail from their first meeting to when she literally blackmailed him into going undercover for her operation. Her steps against the cold hardwood ended when a brilliant idea popped into her mind.

She would approach Hank Voight. Yes it was unexpected and yes it was a daring move but she could pull it off and then turn the game back in her favor. From what she’d read in all these old cases files Hank Voight was a dirty cop. But he was a survivor too. Every single agent that turned against him had lost everything. Hank Voight was the front runner, Hank Voight always came out of those situations victorious. That was what initially drove her towards this case.It was an unauthorized case for her so it was a win win situation. No one in her agency even knew she’d taken it on. When the opportunity had come she’d seized it and used Halstead against his will as a rat. If anything occurred she could deny everything but if Halstead could manage to find dirt the Sergeant she could make her way up the very top. She was an opportunist but fortune favors the bold and she was just like this. She was a walking talking definition of a daredevil. And she owed it to herself to succeed. She had already sacrificed the man she loved to get the career she deserved. If she gave up now all it would be pointless. It would be for nothing, and it wasn’t in her to be a miserable regretful person. She wasn’t the person who wouldn’t act when she could. When she was after something she was like feline hunter. She observes, and orchestrates her ambush and waits until the right time to strike.

The question remained, how she would approach Voight? Directly. It was as simple as that. She would show up and shock him. She would show up and divulge the truth about her operation against him. Not the unauthorized part of course, no she would keep Halstead as her ace in the hole. Her next thought was it worth it to show her hand as it were? Voight was a corrupt cop but he was a survivor and an opportunist just like her. His whole career path was filled with deals made to benefit him why not with her too? Why not use him to find the traitor and reap the rewards?

It is a vague possibility but this extreme plan could backfire on her. He was a temperamental He could see through to her true motives and simply use her to reach his own. No that damn photo was still an issue but, for now she had to focus on the hours ahead, she had one shot to make this play. She had one shot to push her rising career even further. Now she has only had to turn the thoughts into actions, while keeping Halstead from figuring out her back up plan.

Voight was up at the bullpen first she was standing on the parking lot making sure that no other detectives came in before. She made her move and got out of her car. She stood there for a while trying to figure out if he’d already noticed her standing there with no obvious reason. Then she switched her screen on and dialed the number. His phone number. She watched him take his phone out from his jacket pocket and hesitate before answering the unregistered caller.

“Sergeant Voight.” His raspy voice was like hearing the threatening whisper that everyone described in all the case files. “Look out from your window,” a woman’s voice surely surprised him.

“Who are you and what you want?”

“Oh I’m someone you definitely need to meet and trust my word you want this meeting.”

“What? What the hell…?” he replied.

“I’ll call you later today with a better answer.” And the line drop dead.

What was that call about? He wondered as the darkened car pulled away from the curb.

Agent Scott waited till the day was done before she once more made her move. She leaned against his car as he slowly strode forward. She was of an athletic structure but a feminine silhouette, she wasn’t petite so she can impose herself upon anyone who stood against her even him. She had a crystal clear voice even through the phone line and a look so persistent almost piercing quality as he looked at her. She had dark eyes. It wasn’t clear from this distance if her eyes where dark brown or even black because her presence was so intense. She had long dark hair that was almost always up in a neat ponytail. She was like a promo poster for law enforcement female officers. And that was disturbing who this woman truly was?

The moment he came out from the district it was written all over his face, he had already recognized the woman from her first call in the morning and he was dead pissed with her.

“One moment… you now will listen to me…” he said aggressively

“I don’t know who you are and for the moment I don’t care to know who you are but let me tell you that no one gives me orders.”

“Oh then I have to inform you sergeant Voight that I give orders and you better obey or…”

She was about to open her mouth to continue but was interrupted by Voight. “Oh… I’ve already changed my mind about it… so who the hell are you lady and what you want?”

And before she even has the chance to introduce herself and answer Voight continued…“I don’t have time for your secret puzzles and half conversations.”

“I am Agent Scott.”

“And…?” he snarled.

“And I’m running an investigation over you sergeant.”

“Are you kidding me…? Are you playing a mind game or something?”

“Or Something!” she laughed. “We both know that you have done things in your past and I am not exactly in the mood to waste more of my resources and energy on you sergeant.”

“And you tell me this as a courtesy call…?”

“Not remotely…. I already have someone of mine on your team and I will finally get what I want or you can save us both from the trouble and give me what I want and I’ll reveal my mole.”

Oh my… this woman’s nerve had no limits. Not only had she threatened him but she was ironically implying that he was dumb enough to not know who he could trust…

Oh he could kill her right there right then with his bare hands but agent was wright about one thing. Sergeant Voight was short tempered but he was a clever man and a winner he hasn’t over come every single obstacle in his life and career by acting impulsively without calculating every single thing. So after he stand there silent he nodded. Money was not an issue. And don’t be misled. He was not giving in. In his life not even in jail has given in blackmail. He was gaining some time. He was getting the opportunity she was chasing after money to gather his thoughts and orchestrated his way out of this situation and his payback at her. For the black mail and especially for intervening in his team. For intruding in his family.

He was back at his place. The place wasn’t enough anymore he was pacing upstairs and down. He can’t find any silence until he find some restriction and he go sit to his office. No one was home but he needed the close doors and his personal space to think. To think, to figure out who this traitor was, if there was any and he was not just talking.

His mind ran through the list of people he held closest to the vest. Atwater, was new but solid. Ruzek his blood was bluer than even his own. He’d never stray from the golden path. His oldest friend Al was hiding his own sins so he knew his loyalties would never falter. Erin he’d taken in when she was fifteen. She’d needed a home and he’d given it to her. She’d found herself within his unit and she’d found a purpose that had saved her life. Oh this kid… his kiddo… even under the influence of substances she wouldn’t turn on him. He know her, her and her big heart. The only one that remained was Halstead….

Jay Halstead was a free agent with no deeper ties to his small core team. He was the only person that left a small ache lingering in the middle of his heart…


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 11 by Justkillingtimewhileiwait

He watched though the glass window as his surrogate daughter and the snitch climbed the last of the stairs into the bullpen. They were in earlier than usual. To his surprise they continued on a straight path directly to his office rather than their own desks. He could read Erin like a book. And right now he was reading anxiety and something else; regret mixed with sadness? One thing he knew she looked like she hadn't slept much. And Halstead looked even worse. His curiosity was peaked but he wouldn't let whatever they were about to drop on him sway him from his decision. He wouldn't stand for a rat in his unit. And he planned to make an example of this one. 

"Do you have a minute?" Erin asked, hovering in his doorway. Hank motioned for them to come in. Erin shifted from foot to foot and glanced everywhere but at Hank. What had his girl gotten herself messed up with now? Hank though. If it had anything to do with the two faced snitch standing beside her he'd loose it. "So," Erin began "Jay's brother was murdered last night." 

Hank sat back in his chair. He hadn't been expecting this news. He experienced a moment of sympathy for Halstead, it was tough loosing family, especially this way. But then Hank refocused on his anger and betrayal. "Did it have anything to do with you being a rat?" Hank spat at him. Both Erin and Jay went wide eyed. "Ya I know" Hank confirmed and rose to his feet slowly. 

"Hank it's not what you think" Erin moved herself between Hank and Jay. 

Red crept up Hank's neck "you knew?" He practically shouted at her. Erin straightened her back. His boom wouldn't intimidate her. She knew this man, knew what he was capable of but also what she meant to him. 

"Only just. Jay told me everything. It's not what you think." 

"Not what I think? The man, no sorry that's too generous a word for the kind of scum who would rat out another cop, he made a deal to rat out this unit. To rat out me! No one does that and gets away with it." 

Jay's right hand instinctively moved to rest above his gun. He knew a threat when he heard one. Hank continued his prowl towards Jay, spying Jay's hand above his gun. "You gonna shoot me? Here in my office, in front of a witness? Or you plan on killing her too?" Jay sighed and dropped his hand. 

He shook his head sadly, "no, there's been enough death. That's not why I'm here. I need your help." 

"Help! Help!" Hank lost it, pushed past Erin and grabbed Jay by the shirt pushing him up against the wall, "the only help I should be giving you is help getting to the bottom of the lake! Preferably in small pieces!" Jay considered his next move. He could likely overcome Voight's restraint but what good would that do in having the man listen to him? So he stood still letting Voight spit his anger and feelings of betrayal at him. Maybe if he waited him out Voight would cool down. "Nothing to say for yourself now?" Voight spit at him. His hand came up and slapped Jay hard across the face. His first instinct was to fight back, his own short fuse blew. Clearly waiting him out wasn't the road to take. Jay was about to react when Erin's voice filled the small room. 

"Hank that's enough." Erin shouted. "He was blackmailed and forced into it. That FBI agent, Scott, she's dirty Hank the worst kind of dirty, playing both sides. She held Jay's brother over his head and blackmailed him into getting dirt on you, on us. He had no choice."

"You're defending this piece of crap?" Hank turned on her.

"No, of course not. I'm not happy about it either but his brother is dead. And Jay came clean and told me everything yesterday. He didn't want to do it. What would you do Hank if it were you in his shoes? Wouldn't you do whatever you needed to to save your family? And now his brother's dead. And it's her fault. Please Hank. Let's just help Jay deal with this, help him get out from under it so he can move on and mourn his brother." 

Erin had laid it all out. She was surprised by the level of emotion she felt. She had to remind herself that Jay had betrayed her trust. That he was not the man she though he was, that the connection was a lie, that he was merely using them to save his own ass. His brother's ass, the voice in her head corrected her. And now he's dead. Again Erin felt a tug on her heart. Her question to Voight repeated in her head. What would she have done if she was in Jay's shoes? If her family was on the line? Where would she draw the line if she was backed into a corner? Her head spun. Things weren't so black and white anymore. 

Desperately she tried to cling to her anger but she made the mistake of looking up into Jay's eyes. You couldn't fake that kind of regret, that kind of grief. Hank's voice pulled her from her inner turmoil. 

"Seems you've got yourself a Mother Theresa here Halstead." Voight bit out sarcastically. He let go of Jay's collar but levelled him with a stare that would intimidate anyone. "Is this all true? What Erin's ranting about?" Jay nodded and forced himself to hold Voight's gaze without blinking. If he had any chance of getting out of this mess he needed Voight to believe him. "Then I guess we have a shared problem. Scott. You may be a rat but she's a whole other breed of scum. I'll help you with her but only because it serves me to do so. And let's be perfectly clear, the minute this whole mess is brought to light and justice is served for your brother, you're out of here. I don't want to see your face anywhere near my district again. Clear?"

"Ya we're clear," Jay bit out. He didn't enjoy swallowing crow but what choice did he have left?


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin and Jay share some childhood stories with each other.

“Would you like to come to my house after work and continue this investigation?”.  
“I appreciate all that you are doing for me but don’t you want to have some time for yourself? relax a little? I don’t want you to give up living your life because of me”. He said concerned that she was getting too invested in this when it was his problem to solve.   
“It’s ok, I don’t have any plans for tonight but if it makes you feel any better we can watch the hawks game before we start the research”.   
“It sounds good”.   
“Besides you said that you were safer at my house than at yours so if I can do something to prevent another death I will. And the sooner we solve this the better. Your heard Voight, he wants you out of the Unit asap”.

* * *

“Who is it?”. She asked when she heard the door.   
“It’s me Jay”. She went to the door and greeted him.   
“Hi”.   
“Hi, brought a six pack of beer as a thank you”.   
“That’s the kind of thank you that I like. Come on in, Hawks game is about to start”.   
“Great, thanks for inviting me. To tell you the truth is a bit painful to be at my apartment. For the past year and a half my brother had been living with me and the place is full of memories of the both of us. Being alone now there is not the easiest thing to do”.   
“I know that feeling and I’m here for you. I'm glad to be of help. I know that I said that I don’t trust you and I still think the same way but that doesn’t mean that you should be going through this alone. Take it form someone that has tried to deal with grief on her own, that is a rabbit hole that you don’t want to fall into”.   
“Thanks it’s very kind of you after all I’ve done I just feel like it’s all my fault, I keep replaying in my head all the facts of what I could have done instead so my brother would still be alive, I just didn’t have the courage to do those horrible things”.   
“The way I see it you were courageous enough to refuse to do them even though the life of your brother was on the line”.   
“Maybe you are right but I can’t stop thinking about my brother and how would he feel about me not doing everything in my power to save him”.   
“Well if it meant harming innocent people in the process I don’ t know how good your brother would be feeling either, plus it didn’t guarantee that your brother was gonna be fine even if you provided the information”.   
“Yeah it’s just hard”.   
“Well how about we actually watch the game, it’ll take your mind off of things”. They both chuckled.   
“Wouldn’t miss it”.   
"Pizza for dinner?".   
"Pizza sounds good"

* * *

"Wow this pizza is amazing! It reminds me of my mom's pizza".   
"She is a good cook then cause this pizza is really good".   
"Was".   
"Was what?" .  
"She was a good cook, she died a few years ago, cancer".   
"Oh Jay I'm so sorry".   
"It's ok".   
"I went through something similar with Camile, but of course you knew that cause it would make you a very bad detective otherwise".   
"Yeah I knew, I'm sorry that you lost someone you loved too".   
"Yeah Camile was really like a mother to me".   
"What about your birth mom? if you don't mind me asking" .   
"Oh please, like you haven't read my file too and investigated me you probably know more than I do" .   
"I do know some things but not much, all I know are facts, and facts do not make who we are, it's the stories behind those facts that do".   
"How cheesy". "Don't avoid my question miss". "Well as the facts must imply, I didn't have a very happy childhood so I don't like to talk about it”. He noted the instant change on her mood.   
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you, it’s just that you seem like a really nice person and that makes me want to get to know you better”.   
“That or you are trying to get information on me”. Now it was Jay who was upset. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that”.   
“No, I guess I deserve it after all the lies I told you. But I would really like to know more about you, that is if you’ll let me”.   
“Well I’ll tell you a story of mine but only if you tell me a story of yours first”.   
“Deal”. He said and Erin looked at him with expectant eyes. “Oh you mean now? Don’t you wanna finish watching the game first?”.   
“Yeah, it’s not like we’ve been paying attention anyways”.   
“There you have a point. Ok, I think you are gonna like this one. So as a kid I used to go with my family to my grandfather’s cabin in the wood in Wisconsin and me and my brother used to spend most of our time playing out side, Will’s favorite activity was canoe race at the lake. I remember this time when I was eleven or so, we went there for a week and the first six days it rained like crazy so we had to stay inside and we couldn’t do most of our favorite things so on the seventh day when we woke up and saw that it was sunny we got out of the cabin and ran so fast to the lake that we didn’t notice the giant poodle of mud that had formed and it was very slippery so we both slipped and I swear it was like we had been completely submerged in the thing. We were covered from head to toe. We tried to secretly go back inside and shower before anyone noticed the mess we just had made of ourselves. And for a moment we believed we had gotten away with but we hadn’t realized all the evidence we had left behind, there was mud all over the cabin my mom was furious we were hellions”.   
“Well that cabin seems full of happy stories”.   
“It really is, is my special place in the world. I love going there to think. Now that my grandfather is gone and my mother too, me and my brother were the ones taking care of it, I guess now it is just me”.   
“What about your dad if you don’t mind me asking”.   
“He and I don’t get along, we used to but after my mother got sick he wasn’t really there for her and he wasn’t very supportive of me joining the army either so we don’t talk anymore”.   
“If it makes you feel any better at least he is not in Guantanamo”.   
“Your dad is in Guantanamo? Well that is something I did not know”.  
”Hmm guess you are not that good of a detective after all”. She said jokingly trying to lighten the mood. “I don’t know much about him either so don’t feel sorry for not knowing that”.   
“ Well I told you a story of mine, now is your turn”.   
“I told you that my dad is in prison boy scout, that should count”.   
“That is a fact not a story Voight girl”.   
“Well one of my first happy memories is at Voight’s house, the first time that Camile helped me bride my hair. No one had ever done that for me before and she was so kind. I never thought that mothers could be like that. There I felt like I had a real family for the first time or at least a family that I liken and they liked me back”. She got a bit sentimental. “Anyways”, she said with teary eyes. “we should get started with that investigation”.


	13. No Clearence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Agent Scoot is not so full of herself anymore.
> 
> (Chapter By cb150681)

The living room of Erin’s apartment was a mess. For the last three hours Jay had been calling CI’s and taking notes. They ordered pizza twice and the boxes lay on the ground close to the six pack that he brought with him, that they managed to empty. They were both sitting on the carpet with their back against the couch. Erin had changed her cloths and now wore sweat pants and a hoodie that was clearly two sizes bigger than her usual size and it looked like a man's hoodie, probably from that Kelly guy that she mentioned the other night. Jay look around at all that mess and felt kind of comfortable. For a minute he felt close to her and he forgot all that had happen. It was like they were just working on some random case with no worries of their own. It felt good for a moment, simple and intimate. But then he looked at Agent Scott's picture and all the craziness of his life weighed down on his shoulders again.

They wrote down all Jay could remember about Agent Scott. What she said to him, what she offered him and little things that he noticed that could mean something or really nothing at all. Jay overanalyzed the picture that he stole from Erin, there was something suspicious about her. They ended up with almost nothing. She was dirty for sure. Jay thought that she could be in with the Mob that supposedly killed his brother, but Erin didn't agree. 

She acknowledged that he was desperate for answers, for revenge too. Unfortunately she thought that he really wanted Hank’s forgiveness even thought it wasn't remotely possible. She knew Hank and it had been a long time since she saw him so pissed. For a moment there during their argument she thought they hit a point of no return, but fortunately that stupid agent chose to harass Hank. Of all the units in Chicago, she had to choose Hank’s unit, not very smart that Agent Scott.

“Ok I’m tired, I think we should sleep. You already know the drill, I believe you already met the couch.” Erin said, waving to the couch. 

“Always mocking me…Yes I'll sleep on the couch.”

“Of course you will, where did you think you would sleep?” Erin said, raising her eyebrow, he was smiling. The first smile of the day. He looked really beat and hurt and heartbroken. She felt bad for him but she also felt very conflicted. The reality was that she couldn't hate him, but she couldn't give herself permission to like him either. The problem was she liked him already. But then all the lies came back to her. Moments later she remembered what he said to her before he told her the whole story. "You need to know that I really like you Erin" She turned towards him and almost bumped into his chest. He was trying to go to her bedroom, probably to use her bathroom.

It was an awkward situation. He could feel her breath because of the proximity of their bodies. He brushed a lock of hair from her face, lowering his head closer to her, his forehead touching hers. For a second there he almost kissed her but she took a small step back. He spoke in a low voice, releasing a gasp. "Sorry but I need to use the bathroom."

"Yes of course" Her voice was hoarse, one of the things that he really liked about her. "Sorry," she said, moving to allow him to enter her bedroom.

Minutes later he was back in the living room and she rushed to the bedroom trying to avoid any more physical contact with him. The sexual tension between them had become a reality again tonight. The accidental touches now and then, the exchanged looks between phone calls, his grief and regret that she could read on his face, the stares they each caught one another other doing, all of that made them closer. But she repeated to herself again that she was not allowed to fall for this man, he was a rat after all.

“Goodnight Jay.”

“You too.”

Erin kept thinking about how she would handle this situation. If Hank knew that she kind of liked the rat disguised as a Boy Scout, he would kill her. She needed to sleep. When she fell on the bed she fell asleep almost immediately.

Jay stayed awake for a long time. He couldn’t sleep, all he could think of was how he would solve this. He didn’t find anything that could really tell that agent Scoot was corrupt. Basically it was his word against hers and she was an FBI agent, high level. What was he going to do? He was losing the job that he started to like, the girl that he started to like and was having serious difficulties handling his desires for her.

He lost his brother, the only family that he had. Man your life pretty much sucks right now, he thought to himself, lying on the couch trying to find a comfortable position to sleep. Eventually he fell asleep in the middle of thinking up some justification to Hank about how he just did all this because his brother’s life was on the line.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

They were the first ones to get to the precinct. They put together all the stuff that they had collected last night on the board, including the picture of Agent Scott.

Al and Hank walked up the stairs together and as soon as Al laid eyes on the board his face dropped. He came closer to the board and asked, "Why is this woman here?”

Hank got closer to him. “That’s Agent Scott, the bitch that thinks she can arrest me.”

“She is what?” Al looked pretty confused.

“Agent Scott made a deal with me to avoid major jail time for my brother, although he ended up dead, and then she decided to try and get to Hank.” Jay said, without revealing what Agent Scott expected from him in return, by saving his brother’s ass from jail.

“That woman is high grade in the Chicago mob. I’ve been following her for more than two months now.” Al said pointing at the board.

“But she is close to Marcus from that drug heist that I was undercover on," Erin added.

"Well apparently this woman knows how to move in the dark Chicago," Al said, picking off her photo from the board.

They all stood in silence for a while. Hank turned his back and started to leave the room, but Erin stopped him.

"Hank wait. We need to have more. If you want to retaliate against this woman we need proof to confront her with. Give us time to put this case together."

Hank nodded in agreement but his face was blank and he turned to enter his office, closing the door behind him. Al and Erin exchange a long understanding look. This wasn't going to be a good day for sure.

Al looked at Jay. "Tell me how you met her."

"She approached me after my brother got arrested. She was the one who lead the operation."

"She led the operation against the mob?" Al was getting more and more convinced that there was something more here. He ran his fingers across forehead.

"Apparently yes." Jay nod in agreement.

"She's FBI right? Maybe we should find out more about her reputation there. I know someone that could help us on that." Al opened Hank's door, went in and closed it behind him. "You said that she was investigating you right? Don´t you think that we should talk to Bob and try to know what this is all about."

"Al, Halstead is a rat. I already told you, we should not trust him." Voight voice was hoarse. 

"Hank, come on man. I already know that but he lost his brother and he was deceived by her too, clearly she use him because he was in a desperate situation."

"And?" Voight questioned.

"And we need to figure out this woman. She is everywhere! Let's talk to Bob and see what she is up to." Al put his hands in his pockets and waits for Voight reaction.

Hank kept quiet for a moment, thinking. Finally he nodded his head and picked up his jacket. 

"Yes, you're right, let’s see what she's up too."

They left, leaving the rest of the team instructions to go after Will's killers. They would deal with Agent Scott.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hank entered the bullpen with Al behind him. Luckily there was just Erin and Jay, the others had left for lunch. It was still kind of a blur, the rat thing, for the other members of the team. Hank was not explicit about what bothered him so much about Jay and no one asked because of Jay's brother's murder situation, so with everyone out they could talk freely.

“The conversation with Bob was very revealing." Hank said, making both of them jumping in surprise. Erin and Jay were distracted looking at some surveillance pictures that Nadia had recently printed.

"So?" Erin questioned.

"What did that agent really promise you, Halstead, if you found out some dirt on me?" Hank still was pretty irritated with all this. It was showing in his tone, in his posture and mostly in his eyes.

"She said that she would reduce the sentence on my brother. He was facing a life sentence."

"First she didn't ask or even mention that to any of her superiors so if you really had given her something, she wouldn't have helped your brother. She had no clearance for any pardon on his behalf. Second, she didn't report that she was investigating me. It’s not an active investigation on me by the FBI. She was just making moves to get higher in the Bureau. She lied to you. She used you." 

Jay took in everything Hank said. How could he be so naive? He believed her, every single word. Erin was right, he was a boy scout. The anger that he felt right now made him get up quickly, almost tipping the chair over. 

"Calm down Jay. There is nothing you can do now. Let´s just think. Did your source tell you anything more?" Voight asked. 

Al walked closer to them. "Apparently she has two or three major investigations going on. One is definitely the Mob and that's why I caught her with them so many times, she probably has infiltrated. She is known to use her good looks to get what she wants. She is ambitious and a climber. She used her mentor to get a higher position in the Bureau and then dump him. Everybody knows that she wants to shine."

"I want to confront her with this. I want to see her face when I tell her that I know that she doesn't have clearance to investigate me." Hank's face was still red from the anger that he felt towards this woman. "I'm going to call her and arrange a meeting for this afternoon. Halstead I want you in this meeting."

"Ok I want to confront her to. Let's see what she's got to say in her defense."

"Ok now you two should go grab something to eat. You don't look very good." Voight said and leave to his office.

Erin smiled at him. At the end of the day there it was the Hank Voight she knew, kind and concerned about her.

They left the bullpen together. Hank looked at them talking close, through his office window. He pulled the shutters and observed them. She was growing closer to that rat. Erin and her damn big heart, always falling for lost causes. How could she forgive him, how could she forgive the fact that Jay only entered this unit to find information about him because Jay was working for some bitch that wanted to put Hank in jail? There were not many things that he despised more than a rat. But she trusted this guy, he didn't understand why but she trusted him. He would figured out why. As much as he hated to admit it, she was usually right about people.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Agent Scott entered the precinct and presented herself to Sargent Platt as Special Agent Scott from the FBI. Platt looked at her with despise and called upstairs. “There’s a so called special agent that is saying that she has a meeting with you. You think you’re special enough to meet with her? “

“Yeah Platt buzz her up.” Hank said.

“Ok” Platt hung up and got up from behind her desk. “Come on special lady. Hope all of this is special enough for you.”

Agent Scott followed her with a smile on her face. When she got upstairs everybody was working at their desks and the first thing she saw, besides Halstead was her picture with one of Marcus men on the board full of numbers and names and links.

As she passed by Erin’s desk she turned to give Halstead a nasty look. Erin noticed her attitude and Jay's reaction and mumble to herself, "Bitch” 

She knocked on Hank’s office and entered, the door already open.

“So Sargent Voight, did you find out who my man is?”

“That’s none of your business ma'am.”

She was caught off guard by his attitude. He didn't seem angry anymore and he look pretty confidant actually.

“Ok. So why did you arrange this meeting?”

“I did my homework and it seems like you have been busy, apparently you have connections with the Chicago Mob and one of the biggest drug suppliers in Chicago. Busy woman I can see.”

“If you are talking about the picture outside on the board, it’s one of my cases. I got nothing to hide Sargent Voight, I’m an FBI agent and I investigate big cases in Chicago. Nothing to hide!”

“Oh yeah? So tell how come your boss doesn’t know about your open investigation on me?” 

Her face turned a light shade of red, she felt the heat travelling up her neck. Of course this guy knew someone in the Bureau, how could she be so dumb and not think of this. But he couldn't take her down. He just couldn't, not just like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy! Fell free to comment ;)


	14. Alliances Formed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Voight makes a play while Jay makes one of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing in relation to Chicago PD or it's characters.

**  **

 

**"Alliances Formed"**

 

Halstead felt his mouth run dry right when his palms began to shake. Agent Scott’s slender hand fell sharply on her waist as Voight leaned back against his desk. Jay noted with some small amount of satisfaction that Voight appeared to have a small smirk on his otherwise usually placid face. He felt Erin’s gaze shift from his pale complexion towards the partially opened office door. He too craned his own neck as they each fixated on the scene before them. 

* * *

 

“If you had nothing to hide Agent Scott then explain the flushed skin and the hard swallow from just mere seconds ago?” Voight asked calmly. His crossed arms and strong shoulders seemed to make the slender, arrogant woman before him shake but, with what he was unsure. 

She licked her lips timidly before glancing just over her right shoulder. He too peered and spotted the prying eyes of the rat and his adoptive daughter. He coughed slightly breaking the harsh, edged silence that filled the room. “He’ll be joining us shortly but before I welcome a ticking timebomb into this conversation I do have one last question to ask.” The statement hung between them for mere seconds before she took another harsh gulp. 

“What Voight? What about my life do you feel you’re entitled to be apart of?” She shifted off her left foot slightly so her right hip jutted out more forcefully than before. 

He grinned lightly before he parted his lips and let his always gruff voice ruffle her fraying nerves. “Why Halstead? Why take some boy scout and promise to save his brother when you had no way of actually doing anything?” 

She cocked an eyebrow, “Don’t tell me you’ve gone soft on the little snitch?” 

Voight raised an eyebrow and let out a rough laugh, “No. I’m simply trying to figure out why someone with what three active cases? Had to bribe some worthless recruit to do her dirty work for her?” 

Now he waited as her pale, almost alabaster skin turned to an angry red. The thin vein over her right eye began to lightly throb just as she sputtered, “I’m not going to give you an inch Voight not unless you have something substantial in return.” 

Just as he was about to give her a solid offer his attention was pulled towards the sound of a chair flying backwards into the drywall. He sighed loudly when he saw Jay’s muscular form rushing down the hall. His eyes rolled as Erin began to jog after him. 

“What trouble in paradise?” Agent Scott sneared with a giddy smile before Voight could retort...

“Leave their business to them. You and I have our own deals to make.” 

* * *

 

Jay stormed through the heavy double doors with Erin crying out behind him. “Dammit Halstead slow down! 

He shook off the chills that she evoked within him as he pushed roughly at the locker room door. His head ached from the numerous days and nights of looking for vengeance and finding nothing but more nebulous curves. He moved through the room with murderous intent. His soft skin hit the small cracks of the first locker he passed with an odd mixture of passion and fury. He screamed, “GOD DAMMIT!” as he brought his fists once more into the dented locker. He moved with painful precision through the empty room; each row becoming another silent victim as his rage flowed. He let every single emotion out, he let his pain flow through him like a rapid water fall until all he felt in his lungs was exhausted air. 

Finally when his anger had turned to sadness he braced his bruised and bloodied knuckles above his head as he leaned forward against the spared metal. The door behind him squeaked lowly, the footsteps that followed were light but sure was the smell of her lavender soap.  He scowled, “Erin just don’t okay? Just don’t my choices have consequences and those two teaming up was bound to be one of them.” 

He felt her slowly trudge up next to his rigid side. Her soft voice warmed the insides of his torn and mangled heart. “He’s not going to help her, it’s just a ploy to win her over.” 

His sweat dampened forehead fell forward, cracking the hard, cold surface of the metal locker. “Ow,” he mumbled as she let out a soft giggle. 

“Well that’s what happens when you hit your forehead against metal boy scout.” 

His chest fluttered with a low chuckle. “Either way Voight’s girl I’m sunk.” He let his body fall further into the rows of blue painted lockers. His knuckles burned as did his exhausted shoulders. He stammered out his next low remark with more sorrow than anger lancing his tone. “Erin, I...I.. will I...” 

“You’re bleeding,” she squeaked. 

His shoulders relaxed and fell as he mumbled back, “Nice evasion Lindsay.’ 

He didn’t need to lift his head to see her silent nod, nor her pursed lips as she replied, “Just let me help you okay?” 

Jay adjusted, lifting his forehead slightly in order to throw her a cautionary glance. She just shrugged, “Just let me do this one little thing okay?” He simply nodded in defeat as she traced along the bruised and swollen knuckles of his right hand. “Also at least with bandages Voight won’t kill you for destroying the locker room,” she lightly chided as her eyes danced with humor. 

He gave her rigid smile while she continued to trace along the marred lines of his tanned skin. Her right shoulder was in one of the many indents along the locker’s walls. Her sweet smile gave way to something almost primal when she finally took a deep steadying breath, “Did you ever feel anything for me that wasn’t based on your cover?” 

He shifted. She attempted to lace her fingers through his own but he winced so she again squeaked, “Sorry.” He just ignored the sharp pain and let his fingers slide down around her own as he leaned his own shoulder against the row of unbeaten lockers. He traced his index finger along the hallow of her check and down until he was at her collarbone. Her head tilted slowly against his touch as she let her eyes fall shut. He gave her a soft crooked smile that she couldn’t see before softly saying, “Your eyes that’s what really cut me to the core.” 

Her pulsed raced beneath his thumb as he let it softly pass over her pulse point. Her body was humming with electricity as he continued. “I saw you Erin, I saw this wild, untamed, beautiful woman hidden behind the sadness and loneliness of her unfocused gaze.” 

He inched closer as her breath hitched, “I was insanely and dangerously attracted to that sadness. It took me days to get you out of my head, hell I never really did. I used to lie awake at night and dream of those amazing eyes up until the day this firecracker of a woman waltzed into my life wrecking me completely.” He stepped another inch closer before bringing his fingers down to push softly beneath her chin. Her eyes flung open as he inched her lips upward towards his. Her eyes glowed and his skin tingled when he whispered, “Everything I felt, hell everything I feel for you is real,” just as their lips touched. 

“Ehmm hmm” 

The sound snapped them apart like a whip hitting it’s mark as they each abruptly turned. 

“Voight’s wondering were you wondered off to,” Al explained before Jay felt his eyes land on his bruised knuckles. His face scrunched in understanding as he added in a gruff voice, “I’ll let Lindsay bandage you up first Halstead.” 

It was Erin’s light voice that gave the amused, if not grateful response. “Give me ten minutes Al.” 

He give her a curt nod before he shot another one towards Jay. The door slammed shut with a thud as Jay glanced down at their still joined hands. “You think he noticed this?” he asked while glancing down at their twined hands. 

She again shrugged but with mirth dancing through her eyes instead of humor. “Al’s a good man,” she stated before pulling slightly at the hemline of his shirt. “Voight won’t betray me Jay,” she said softly with a sad smile. “He protects the innocent and while you weren’t innocent you’re weren’t exactly the bad guy either...” she mumbled before pulling him along with her towards one of the few unflipped benches. 

* * *

 

Erin was confused. 

He betrayed her in ways that had lost men their dignity, hell sometimes even more depending on her mood...

So why was this one affecting her? Why was this one man making her stomach churn with both anger and desire all at once? Why did she first want to kiss him and then punch him all within the same shared moment? Why did knowing that he felt something for her make her entire body shudder with pure joy?

Erin kept asking those nagging questions of herself while she pulled out the first aid kit. His knee kept knocking at hers as he sat with one leg over each side of the narrow bench, his fallen face made her heart ache as she ripped open the gauze and ointment. She glanced up at him briefly then muttered, “This is going to sting.” 

He nodded wordlessly as she unscrewed the cap and pushed at the bottom of the tube. The off white cream sprung forth quickly before landing on the dry, clean towel. She scooted closer and placed her feet alongside his own. She frowned, “Ready?” 

“Erin just ask me,” he answered as her hand paused in midair. 

She blinked rapidly, “Jay...” 

He sighed, “Erin he was all I had left, he was it. She made it seem so damn simple. Just use his one fatal flaw and done. He’d be in her custody and Will would be free. I was confused okay...I was confused and scared. When I deployed it was like my prayers had been answered. I was taken away from the boy I was and made into the man I needed to be.” 

She sat there wordlessly as his voice faltered and petered with each staggered word. She dabbed at the small cuts and abrasions as his chest rose and fell in long almost painful sounding exhales. Her own heart felt worn and tattered as he kept confronting his own inner demons. 

“When I saw that you and the woman I couldn’t forget about were the same person I freaked okay! I was a complete wreck hell I still am, but I never lied about my feelings for you, I never lied about that...never...” he breathed as she smoothed out the remainder of the ointment. 

“You’ll have to follow along with whatever plan he’s concocted you do know that right?” she asked while ripping open another gauze package. 

Jay’s face become rigid and cold, “Yes and you’re avoiding the issue at hand.” 

Her fingers shook as she wrapped the remaining edge of the gauze around his knuckles. “No I’m sparing us both an uncomfortable conversation and getting us back on the true task at hand,” she declared with a tenor of annoyance in her throat. 

He croaked, “No what’s uncomfortable is basically living with you and not being able to touch you.” 

She glared and yanked at his newly bandaged hand. He yelped slightly as she smirked, “You never should have fallen for a tight ass and stormy eyes.” 

He fired back, “You never should have let me...” 

With that her body stilled. As they bickered each of them had been slowly inching closer and closer. Their noses were practically touching as they both panted in frustration. “This is all your fault boy scout,” she nearly growled. 

His eyes hardened as he placed his hands alongside her bent knees. “No Voight’s girl it’s ours...” he retorted before he gripped down on her knees and slammed his lips down upon hers. Her retort was swallowed as he brushed his tongue along the ridge of her own. She felt a low moan of pleasure burning at the back of her throat as she reached forward to touch the sides of his face. Her head tilted as he pressed their bodies closer. His touch sent flames of fire and passion throughout her entire spine as their lips once again moved as one. She let out a muffled cry as he sharply pulled back. “What the hell?” 

He panted, “Well I didn’t think you’d shut up if I just asked nicely.” 

Her forehead wrinkled but the ghost of a smile on lips told another story. “This changes nothing...” she poked as he released her jellylike knees. 

He grinned, “Yeah it does but right now Voight and Agent Scott are waiting so...”

“So let’s get his over with so I’ll have my couch back,” she interrupted as they both stood. He gave her a half hearted shrug as he curled both his hands into small fists. His eyes crinkled at the sides in pain as she stepped over the bench and moved toward the door. 

* * *

 

Agent Scott was seated in the chair closest to the window grinning like a cat as she purred, “So we agree? You’ll help me and in return I’ll remove the rat from your squad room?” 

Voight’s gaze shifted towards the hall as Al gave him a thumbs up. He then glanced back and gave her a grim but solid smile. “Agreed but with one minor change,” he amended with gravel in his tone. 

She shifted and placed her leg over her right knee. “Let me guess the daughter. She’s a means to an end we already agreed to that. She keeps him inline while we throw him to the sharks. I get my proof and you rid her of his intrusion upon her life got it so what change is needed?” She prodded with no finesse at all. 

Just then he saw a flash of Erin’s shoulder length hair. Jay’s hallow face followed closely behind. He looked defeated but changed as the neared his office door. She cleared her throat and asked again, “Um today Voight I’m a very important woman.” 

He grimaced, “Halstead’s brother, I want his slate cleaned.” 

She cocked her head, “He’s dead or did you miss that?” she questioned in arrogance. 

“Yeah no shit,” he spat before adding, “Just clear his file so the kid didn’t give up his life in vein.” 

She smiled snidely but agreed, “This won’t appease her Voight. You do this and you will lose her mark my words. This is a nasty business and love has no place in it.” 

He nodded gravely, “Just do it or you’ll be on the chopping block instead of Halstead got it?” he barked. 

She lowly chuckled, “It’s your funeral,” just as the door opened and the real battle began. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let us know what you think of our story!


	15. COLLATERAL DAMAGE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Randy Pausch quoted: "It's not about the cards you're dealt, but how you play the hand."  
> After the last meeting we'll figure out who is the best player? Who could think of the best strategy? Who is willing to sucrifice and what? Who has the most to lose?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel the need to express my gratitude to:  
> Youknowitall you know why... Remedy is your masterpiece and your generosity to let us be a part of it is beyond words can describe.  
> Laurabella2930 the best editor ever.  
> aguscha333 & justkillingtimewhileiwait & cb150681 & fromthewildnorth for being the best squad a fangirl could wish for.  
> All of you (readers) who support this story.

The meeting was over and every single one of the participants were even more confused than before. This situation was complicated. They were all standing at the brink of a crossroad; each not knowing which direction to follow, and each not having safe passage through the maze.

Agent Scott stood up from her chair and rushed out passing between Erin and Jay, waving  goodbye to Voight.

Erin moved first covering the distance to Voight’s office and leaned her head through the door with a questioning look in her eyes.

Voight just motioned her in. While closing the door Jay passed through the remaining gap, and moved silently to sit next to Erin.

The look in Voight’s eyes was priceless. It was covering the full scale of emotions. The most distinctive among them was shock of the insolence of this man. His anger was still at unmanageable levels so he made a choice. He stood swiftly, “We’ll talk later.” he said looking at Erin.  “Don’t you dare to be late Halstead” he groaned as he walked next to Halstead and out the door.

Both of them stood and followed him silently out with a nervous energy tingling between them.

“Could I come over at your place?” Jay asked Erin while they walked down the stairs.

Her head tilted a little in surprise. “Yes…? Where did this come from?” she asked not understanding his sudden hesitance.

“Because… you know… with all that’s going on and …” He took a short stammering breath before adding,  “after what happened between us, I just don’t want to intrude or add more to this already complicated situation…” he finally stammered as she very slowly took in his overall nervous posture.

“You definitely have such a sense of humor Boy Scout.” She teased while poking his chest gently. One soft smile after that she stated with a teased tone,  “After all this mess… now…? You bother to think about your intrusion to my life…? His eyes fell thinking she’d given her answer but just as quickly his eyes brightened when she added, “ Come on, I won’t wait you.”

“O…Ok” he just replied in relief.

Minutes later they were in her car and moving at an easy pace towards what had become his home.

  


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When they finally arrived Erin sat at the couch and before she even get the time to remove her jacket she started searching through the case files, lying on her coffee table.

Jay’s nervous energy finally got the best of him when he blurted out...

“Do you really think that Voight will help me? I don’t want to seem ungrateful but…”

“But what?”

“But… are you sure he will choose to destroy Agent Scott over me?”

“Ok look… If I learned anything over the years is that Hank always and by all means protects the ones that need to be protected…”

“Yes… and where do you want to end up with this? I mean I’m not the typical victim for him I’m just the ra…”

“Oh just don’t rush Jay.” She interrupted him. “Even if Hank wouldn’t do this for justice or to confront this bitch, I’ve asked him to, so don’t even question me.”

She hid herself behind the paperwork and left him there staring at her wondering why? Why she’d bother helping him after all.

“Ok…” she said at some point shifting her head up from what she was reading.

“Do you find anything?” he asked her anxiously.

“No, not a clue, you lazy brat. But I figure that it is fair to feed me, as I’m the only one working here. Kitchen… Now… Move, move move” He smiled and obeyed.

An unexpected knock at the door made her drop the files she was reading.

“Hank, what are you doing here?” She asked moments after she opened the door.

“Are you ok kiddo? I told you I wanted to talk to you earlier?” He answered and his eyes drifted to the direction of the kitchen and the exact point where Jay popped out his head to see what was happening.

“What the hell he is doing here Er?” Hank growled into his teeth.

“We were preparing the case for tomorrow…” she tried to explain, but Hank’s face had already reddened and she didn’t bother to continue.

“Halstead…?”

“Yes Sir.”

“I have already made a plan about this case. No need for you two to waste any more time… so come with me. I’ll drive you to your apartment.”

“Oh… and Er, take the day off tomorrow. I’ll fill in Halstead about the case and when it’ll be your turn to step in I’ll inform you. I want you to rest until then, am I clear?”

“Crystal clear Hank” she answered unexpectedly without any complaints. Something that normally would have bothered Hank, but he was focused on Halstead now.

Jay passed in front of her grabbing his coat and looking at her with pleading eyes for a rescue attempt. He was literally walking into his own personal firing squad.

Erin was watching him amused by his expression. He had no reason to fear Hank. Yes, Hank was an intimidating man and he has every reason to want him dead but…, ok maybe he had to fear him, she thought to herself, but just a little. After all he offered him a ride home not to the docks. She giggled at this thought. It was like an inside joke. Growing up in Hank’s house, having Justin as brother they have developed a rough sense of humor. Only the Voight family had the ability to understand and maybe most of the times Al, he was family too.

  


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Voight sat at the driver’s seat and waited. Halstead followed after a while.

“Are you coming?” Voight asked angrily.

Jay nodded nervously and jumped into the passenger suit mumbling, “No sir

 “Don’t worry about your safety Halstead. If I wanted to kill you I wouldn’t ruin my car while doing it” he joked more or less.

“Ok sir I’m sorry. I mean I have never truly apologized about everything and I…”

Voight just cut him off. “Listen to me Halstead. I don’t have the time to think about you. I want to get rid of this sneaky bitch and keep Erin out of it as much as possible.”

“Yes, sir. This is something I’m willing to…”

“Also admit that her being involved is all on you,” he interrupted which made Jay sputter…

“But… sir.”

“But nothing Halstead. Erin has this huge heart and I don’t get it, why she even bothered to help a snitch like you? I mean she is a smart kid. She was street smart. She is a survivor, a fighter. But she’s always had a soft spot for losers and lost causes. Look at all her friends, look at her mother… Look at you. She thinks that she is a lost cause too, but take my word she isn’t and I don’t intent to step back and watch her sacrifice herself or worse her life in a rescue mission. She will end up a mess, like the one I have found when she was a child. She doesn’t deserve a shallow grave; she won’t become an unrecognizable, unclaimed body somewhere at a suspicious area. I want her out of this and this is beyond discussion. Do you understand me?”

He was talking and talking and this monologue seemed to be addressed equally to himself as to Halstead. Any additional expressed thought made his temper rise to the point that his knuckles were white.

“Sir, I know that my words have no impact for you at all and I get that, but trust me on one thing, I know that she deserves better. She deserves everything. I won’t become an obstacle for her, I realize that I’ve already been a burden on her shoulders, in the place I can imagine that should be occupied by wings but trust me, I will protect her.”

“Ok at least we agreed at this. I’ll help you not because I believe you deserve it but to prevent her from doing this, so I’ll expect you tomorrow morning and as I’ve already told you earlier today don’t you dare be late. I have a plan.” He concluded as the car stopped in front of Halstead’s apartment.

  


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Meanwhile…

Agent Scott had already returned at her place after this ridiculous meeting with Voight. When she;d stormed out of his office earlier today she was furious. Fast and furious. She got in her car and almost launched it from the parking lot to the road while gaining some loud horns and nasty comments from a truck driver.

She was not in the mood and the other driver probably was one of the luckiest guys in the whole world, because he chose not to follow her at the edge of the freeway when she turned on the signal light and pulled her car over. He just bypassed her and moved on.

She parked there for a while trying to contain herself. She looked herself in the mirror. Her face was red she was looking like she was going to have a stroke and her eyes had some visible veins. She took a good look at herself. She wasn’t going to win anything with that temper. She tried to relax and took some deep breaths to steady the rate of her heart. 

When she felt calm enough she started her car once more and returned to her apartment. She unlocked and turned the lights on. She walked from the door to the bathroom and turned on the water to fill the tub. She then went to the kitchen and grabbed a glass off the counter and a wine bottle from the fridge and then returned to the bathroom. She undressed herself letting her clothes fall in the exact place they’d been dropped. She filled her glass and let it sit at the side of the bathtub while she sunk into the hot water. Oh that was so relaxing. She spoilt herself with some moments of looseness. She stretched her hand to reach her glass and started to think about everything that had happened today.

She was wondering why she felt so tense without any obvious reason. The meeting wasn’t bad. She managed to make a deal with Voight and they agreed to work together. She concluded that the uneasiness she was feeling was a hunch and that Voight probably was so cooperative because he had ulterior motives. She strained her mind to figure what they were but she couldn’t think of anything. If she couldn’t find out she had to come up with an exit strategy. But what?

She was thinking and thinking but nothing. Then when she took a sip of her wine she almost choked herself in surprise. That was it. That was her golden ticket. The daughter, Detective Erin Lindsay. The one with the raspy voice just like her boss. Yeah she wasn’t naive. Voight wasn’t the saint type of person to save and adopt a street kid because of his big heart. She has to be his. It’s not a common voice after all. What a great coincidence it has to be to find and get a kid out of the streets who has the exact same voice and she was a girl even rarer. He probably had a thing with the drug addict white trash mother and he wasn’t willing to ruin his family. Then when the kid got into trouble he probably convinced his wife to semi-adopt her. It was a common fact that men with authority had obedient spouses so he made the arrangements and kept spreading this lie that he just saved a random kid. She always was a suspicious person. She has always been a suspicious person she wasn’t among these pitiful naïve souls that believe in coincidences so she had an ace up her sleeve.

The only thing left then was to figure out how she could use this newly discovered fact in her benefit. Ok, she had no clue what scheme they orchestrated but she’d figured out his Achilles’ heel.

She’d found the way but for the moment she had to get out of that tub because the water had already turned cold.

The next morning the sunlight found her pale face staring the ci file case of Erin Lindsay. She has learned by heart all the facts and she was thinking that she’d figured her out. She already was her original choice when she was searching to plant a rat in Voight’s team. The fact that she has a debt to Voight which during the passing years has been transformed into loyalty had automatically excluded her. That was wasted potential. She was clever, street smart and a survivor. She could be her ally but she was preoccupied. Now this same loyalty was the trait that Agent Scott would use. And the best part was that she had been a drug addict. That was something she could play with. That was the plan.

She reached out for her phone and dialed the numbers.

“Detective Lindsay” a voice heard from the other line. Yeah… right… she wasn’t his daughter who they were thinking they could fool.

“Good morning Detective. I’m Agent Scott.” Silence took over the phone line. Nothing no reply.

“Still there detective?”

“Yes, what do you want?”

“Where are your good manners detective? Or the Voight’s haven’t raised you that way?” she teased her.

“Stop the games Agent. What do you want?”

“A meeting” she replied shortly

“Meeting between us?”

“Yes”

“Ok where and when?”

“Today take the 88, then turn to 31 and drive to Aurora. I’ll be there at motel 6. Don’t make me wait. We need to talk.”

“Ok I’m on my way.”

Let the games begin. Agent Scott thought. She’d already formed a solid plan.

When the phone rang that morning Erin was searching through all these files laying in her coffee table that hadn’t the time to process when Voight came at her place and took Jay almost by force with him.

She had found a person a ci the agent had used in a previous case. It could turn to be nothing at all but it could be a connection. It could be a trial that would form a pattern to her action. This ci guy Mr. J. Baker also had family issues. He also had a brother with priors. She had to dig more into this. And then the call interrupted everything.

When the conversation was over Erin was divided in a dilemma between informing or not Voight about it. But he was the one that made her take the day off and benched her, so…

She left everything as it was, a total mess got her car keys and left.

  


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Agent Scott hadn’t managed to get to sleep last night so she had grabbed her files and drove. She drove all night into the city streets witnessing the lights of the city as they switched on and one by one switched off again as the hours passed.

She found this motel and made the proper arrangements. She booked a room for herself for the night and a second for the entire week at a different name.

When Erin finally appeared she was already waiting her in her own car. She rolled down her window and ordered her to leave her own car and get into hers.

“Come on detective. I don’t intent to waste my day here. I’ve already been waiting long enough for you.”

Erin obeyed her instructions and got into the passenger seat.

“Let’s go have a drink and discuss.” Agent Scott suggested and Erin couldn’t hide her shocked expression any more.

“Are you serious?” She just asked.

“Yes dead serious.” She replied.

They drove for about two minutes before pulling into the diner’s parking lot. They entered both on guard with shoulders squared. They took a booth in the back and slid in quickly before Erin coughed uncomfortably.

 “Before we start this bizarre conversation you’ll have to excuse me for a moment.” Erin added and covering the distance through the bar and asking the bartender where the bathroom was. He gestured her to the left.

She returned minutes later as the were being served.

“Nice boots. You have good taste for such a tiny person. Where are you shopping from? The kids department?” She joked.

“So tell me about you detective.” Agent Scott said.

“Probably there is nothing that you haven’t already read in my file. And please don’t think I’m an idiot and insist that you haven’t done that.”

Agent Scott was even amused by the girls sass. She had some spirit. She gets what the others were seeing in her to make her likeable.

“If only I could use you and not that idiot Halstead… Come work for me” she said out of nowhere.

“I think I’ll pass.” Erin declined the offer.

“Are you sure? Wouldn’t you like to be in the winning team for once?” she questioned her with an arrogant smirk forming in her lips.

“Trust me Agent Scott, I will be. And I can guarantee to you that…” she paused and closed her eyes for a moment.

“Are you ok?” the fake concern was audible in her voice.

“What have you done…?” Erin managed to ask before she passed out.

Agent Scott stand up from her chair and motioned to the bartender who witnessed the whole scene not to help she could handle her.

“She started the reunion celebrations a little earlier that the others.” She mouthed at him while bypassing carrying her out.

She put her into the passenger seat, and drove back at the motel.

The second room she’d booked the previous day was destined for her. That was the plan. Drugging her and removing her was all apart of her plan.

Having Erin disappear meant that she wasn’t helping them. And she was a good detective.

Additionally having her out of the picture would be a hell of distraction for both Voight and Halstead, and that would ensure her more time to figure out what they were planning.

And last but definitely not least it was her loaded weapon.

Erin was a drug addict and drug addicts never truly recover they just struggle with their addiction. Drugging her would be the ultimate revenge. Making her relapse and ruining her would be a death conviction for the people who cared about her. This would be their fault  as would her eventual overdose.

Voight can win every remaining battle and even then she would win the war. If she goes down she will bring so many with her. That is her ultimate goal. She is special she won’t become a name in the long list of Voight’s defeated enemies. She will be the person who will bend him to the point of cracking.

When she arrived at the motel she carried Erin once more in to the room. Erin had just started regaining some consciousness. Her throat hurt and the words came out as whisper.

“What have you done?”

“What do you think?” Agent Scott replied and continued, “Don’t take it personally honey you are just a collateral damage.”

“Please just not this.”

“Not what?”

“Please…” she pleaded once more “Don’t…”

“What do you suggest, then…?” agent Scott asked with no intension to consider any suggestion but she was curious.

“Just kill me now. Let me die with dignity. Let me die as Erin… and not as a mindless looser drifted into her foggy thoughts not able to remember anything that matters in her life… Just please…” she said and passed out.

She left her in the bed. This tiny mess laid there. As she was watching her she felt a little guilty, recalling her last desperate plea. She honestly preferred death over returning back to her previous state. She really had reinvented herself. She’d transformed from a caterpillar to a butterfly and rose as a phoenix from her ashes, but this was an awkward situation. She was Voight’s girl and as unfortunate as it was she was  collateral damage.

Her fate was sealed with hers and with Voight’s and Halstead’s actions from now on.

  



	16. CASE OVERTURNED

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One vital dilemma remains:   
> How much hurt a soul could handle before it'd reached the point of no return?   
> If this is the last remaining feeling?   
> If focusing in pain is the only thing that's real, is it a preferable choice to hold to it or to quit accepting the defeat?  
> What Erin will do?  
> Will her Three Musketeers Hank, Jay and Al, who've just recently stepped in the case, be able to rescue her in time?  
> Or they will have to live the rest of their lives in regrets?  
> Will agent Scott win?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This sixteenth chapter is co-written with cb150681. It is not mine to claim. It is ours. And I admit that it was a pleasure to share something with her. She is such a creative person.   
> I couldn't express sufficiently my gratitude to her for the opportunity she offered me to have such a great time doing something I love.  
> I owe everything to Youknowitall and her original initiative.  
> & to our editor Laurabella2930  
> & to the rest of our team: aguscha333, justkillingtimewhileiwait and fromthewildnorth.  
> & to every single one of you that support our story, I hope you like it. And I'm waiting to read your opinion: Will the unit manage to rescue Erin? To rescue her in time? If not, to live with their failure? Or agent Scott will win at last? What are you thinking...?

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Voight had arrived to the office early the next morning. He hadn't slept at all to be honest. He was worried, but not about Agent Scott. He had handled more dangerous people than her. He wondered silently who could opposed to this statement? He had been an ex-cop in prison after all and, this could be the definition of hell that he’d already put behind him.

He was worried about his team. He was worried about Erin. He had to keep her as far from this as possible. He knew that Agent Scott would put a target on her head. He isn’t fooled, he wasn’t the type of person that couldn’t face the truth. He would choose the same direction. He would follow that way too. He was going to exploit his enemy’s weak spot. The only problem beyond the façade was the emotions he’d failed to hide. He cared for his team. His team was his family. And he would do anything for his actual family. And Erin was exactly that. She was his kiddo.

He had warned Halstead to keep her out of this. This was the only reason he stepped in on this case. He knew in his heart that when Erin was thinking that someone was in the position to need help she would take action and help, as if it was her duty. Her assignment in this lifetime was to save every lost soul so if it would bring balance to her karma and peace for her soul. That was the reason he demanded that Agent Scott reassured Halstead would get his justice.

He couldn't resist so called her. It was just yesterday night that he told her to take the day off, so he knew he wouldn't see her today at work but that was for the best. He waited but... nothing. She hadn't picked it up, but she wasn't rejecting the call either. All good. He knew that she would be mad. She knew her. She knew her reactions so far. She knew her little stubborn self. She had to be mad and furious with him for benching her. It would be past too. After all, it is for her protection. He prefer to be Better safe than sorry.

Halstead was just entering. He walked straight to the door.

"Good morning sgt."

"Hello Halstead. Are you ok with what we discussed yesterday? Erin is off this case."

"I totally agree with that sir."

"Ok then let's get on with this"

 

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Al joined them minutes later.

"Ok I think we can take her down!" Erin text me last night saying that today she will have a day off but she wanted me to check some old CI. Mr. J. Baker! Doesn't ring a bell Voight?"

Voight just mumbled something that no one understood and waited for Al to continue.

"She has an MO and to get into the Mob she’ll use some guy in a desperate situation again. She got to him because he’s been charged for selling confidential information to some Middle East military group. He is facing a big jail time so she used him to enter the Mob offering to pardon his charges. As for Halstead the problem is she didn’t have the clearance for that and nobody in the Feds knows about this guy."

"Ok and how will this help us? I said to you that we needed to make her slip on her lies. We don´t know that guy so..."

Al realized how this was affecting Voight, however he was not sure if he wanted to get rid of Agent Scott or help Halstead. And that doubt made him smile about how Voight was always trusting Lindsay's opinions about people. He looked at Halstead and noticed that he was completely defeated.

"The good news is you know the guy, it was because of him that you give us this file to investigate and we ended up fowling the Mob."

"I know him? For what?"

Al smiled again to himself. "He was your CI until you found out that he was selling some altered drug that put a bunch of teenagers in the hospital and ended up killing one of them a couple of years ago. He managed to run away and he was MIA for a while until you thought you spotted him again and give me his file to investigate. 

Jay's face lit up a little. "And we have proof that it was him who was selling? He could be charged for murder or something close to that."

"Actually we have some footage that could prove that he was selling and I think we can manage for him to bail on Agent Scott if we threatened him with the possibility of murder charges."

Halstead rubbed his hand over his forehead. "And how on Earth is this guy jumping from selling altered drugs to selling classified information?"

"Apparently he is a good hacker and you know the internet nowadays allows you to contact everyone." Al answered with a concerned face. "And that's bad. Basically he is the kind that wants to make money period, no matter how."

They all stayed in silence for a bit. Voight was thinking about how he would use this guy but he wasn’t sure. They needed more. More information, more details, more everything.

"We need more than this!"

Al smiled at him. "I know we need more... Remember that I said that she’d have an MO? The other case she's involved in... there's another guy in the same situation."

Hank finally cracked a smile. "Ok I think we can work with that now. We will take her down for blackmailing and if we manage to get this guy talking her career is ruined."

Halstead grabbed his phone to call Erin to tell her the good news but then he remembered the conversation that he’d had with Voight and put the phone back in his pocket. He wanted to talk to her so much...

"Go pick up those two guys Al, ask Antonio to go with you!" Voight said turning his back on them and entering his office. He dialed Erin's number and waited for her to pick up. Nothing. Again? He called Halstead in side. "Did you talk to Erin last night?"

Halstead’s face felt like Voight could heard his thoughts dammit. "No Sir."

"And today?"

"No Sir. You told me not too..." Now he was rubbing his hand on his arm, staring out the window. This conversation was clearly uncomfortable to him.

"Could you call her now please?"

Jay faced him with a surprised look. "Sorry?"

"Call her dammit!"

"But you..." Jay looked his superior in the face and said. "Ok! Ok!" He picked up his phone and dialed the number. Nothing. Another time. Nothing. "She won’t pick up!"

"Me neither! I have a bad feeling about this..." Hank said looking at the window and trying her phone again.

In the next ten minutes both tried to call her and texted her about where she was. After so much time without an answer from her Voight began to assume. "Something happened to her... I'm sure of that now!"

 

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She started to regain her consciousness. In every passing moment with every breath she took. She tried to open her eyes. Her head was pounding when her eyelashes slid open to let the disappointing image scream through.

She tried to evaluate her surroundings. No luck. Nothing was familiar. She realized that she was in a bedroom, more likely in a motel room. Was it the motel she and Agent Scott had met at earlier that day? She could be anywhere. Agent Scott could have moved her anywhere? It wasn't that when she drugged her was in any position to resist or fight back. She wasn't even able to think clearly. Was it earlier that day? It could be the day before? How much time had really passed? How long was she unconscious for? What time was it?

She put all her energy into processing her surroundings. She was laying in a bed. It wouldn't be uncomfortable if her body didn't hurt. But she was feeling bad, or worse than bad, she was feeling awful. Her limbs were cold and her whole body was numb. Every single muscle of hers was hurting, it felt like burning, even the muscles she didn't know about their names, the ones she possibly never moved or exercise, hurt. She tried to stand and sit on the edge of the bed but she couldn't move at all.

This was a nightmare. She was awake but she was unable to move like all these nightmares where you’re in danger and at the same time standing there still unable to move. This was a nightmare. A nightmare she was living awake. What was happening? Why was it happening? Why wasn’t she able to move? It must be what Agent Scott put in her drink. It wasn't just drugs. Could it be a combination of drugs and rohypnol or something relevant? She was wondering? She was wondering how she could be so stupid. Why did she face a known and established enemy of hers, of her family? Why did she trust her? How could she be such a loser and forget the most basic lesson her life had taught her? Never trust the others? Hadn't she learnt yet? Will she ever learn?

The last time she trusted someone, someone she considered her friend had ended badly. He was planted there to spy on her and Voight. To expose and hurt her only family.  He was supposed to be her friend. Her partner. How could the person who had put him there be trustworthy? She started to wonder honestly how she survived all these years as a street kid. Maybe her current life has softened her?

But it wasn't the time to think all of that. She had to put things in order. She looked around her. She was handcuffed to the bed. There was a nightstand next to the bed with a glass full of water, but no phone device. Agent Scott probably had it disconnected and gone. The window had the drills all the way down. No natural light was coming through the room. She couldn't figure out if it was still light or dark outside.

Her eyes drifted to the other side of the room. There was furniture there too, with a television on. It was a medium sized device but an old one. It wasn't even a flat screen. It was one of those huge things of the past. And it was turned on. Her eyes were burning. Her vision was blurred. She could recognize that the figures with their mouths moving but she couldn't hear a word. She wasn't sure if the TV was muted or if she just couldn't hear a thing. She decided to test that theory.

She opened her mouth and tried to speak, tried to yell. Her throat was sore as she hurt herself but heard nothing. What was happening? She had proved her herself right. She couldn’t hear a thing, for now at least.

 

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She noticed that the door handler moved downwards. Someone was at the door.

"Honey I'm home..." Agent Scott said sarcastically.

She saw her tensed struggling to hear.

When the door opened light passed through the crack.

"So I hadn't heard any complaints so I'm guessing you were a good girl. Not that trying the opposite would make any difference. The volume was so loud that no one could hear you. Just as loud not to have any one complaint either of course, but it has worked. ” She lowered the volume to be able to speak in a normal voice.

"Are you ok?" She wasn't hypocritical enough to ask her if she was comfortable or if she was feeling good, she knew this couldn't be possible.

She noticed that her eyes were swollen and her tears had gathered at the edges threatening to fall but she was making every effort to resist.

"To be honest it bothers me to waste potential and time so I want to make this clear to you. No one until today had been searching for you. How could they? You have the day off."

And with that she thought that she had made all the required explanations and it was time to do what she had to do for the day and leave.

She shoved her hand into a briefcase and pulled out a syringe. She started approaching her.

"Please, please no... I'm begging you... no... Not this again..." Erin cried out.

"Oh we can't continue like this..."

Erin thought that she had a hope. That glimpse of a silver lining shown obviously in her tired eyes, but...

Agent Scott turned around and just set the volume higher so her cries would be muted or at least covered.

She pushed the needle through her thin skin until the blood began to pool around the small wound. She pushed the plunger slowly and smiled as the drugs flowed through her veins. The old familiar sting. When she pulled the needle out, the spot was like a crater. It was then, that she noticed the old marks on her skin, they were camouflaged with a tattoo, a white ink minimal tattoo of winged flames probably symbolizing a phoenix raising from the ashes. Agent Scott felt for the woman who’d fought so long and so hard for a fresh start. She’d paid her dues but Agent Scott needed more. She needed her to crumble and fall before her feet in a wave of drug induced misery. And that was exactly what she had achieved. Now she was getting more and more like these pictures on her c.i. file. This shadow of the girl she met a couple of days before this blur mirage of a former person. Her skin was sweaty and pale. Her pulse was obvious through her exposed blue veins. It was quick and thick. Her breathing pattern was unsteady. She done what she has to do and left.

She had just started to drive back to Chicago, she had so many things to settle. She had to play along with Voight while trying to figure out their trap. And today was her day. She was reassured that they would be preoccupied. Both of them they would be worried for her when she hadn’t shown for work that day.

A feeling of uneasiness started to grow in her. Was the dose the proper amount? Was it enough? She didn't have the luxury to have her conscious and trying to escape.  Was it perhaps too much? She was new to this and thus didn’t have the knowledge to make the right call she hits the breaks. She made a u turn and returned to the motel to make sure the drug dose wasn't lethal. For a cleared person to overlaps may be more dangerous. The body has not the same remaining tolerance at the substances as before and every next shot could become their last. She had to be sure not to waste her asset. She wasn’t about to lose her greatest weapon to a careless mistake.

She parked as quickly as she could and stormed out of her car. While she was approaching the room she focused to hear any indication that she was still alive. She was anxious and afraid to even open the door. She heard something like sobbing. At least she was alive. She reentered at the room. What she even made even her ice cold heart clench in desperation. She was in the bed unable to move. Tears streamed down her redden cheeks the only color you could recognize on her pale as dead skin. Her dead eyes remained fixed on the stark wall as Agent Scott’s blood froze. And then she realized why she have surrendered and let herself collapse.

The bed was wet.

Her body was quaking in small short spasms. The tight denim of her jeans were darkened form the stream of urine that left her body. Agent Scott took a small breath of relief before feeling a brand new wave of shame wash over her. She’d never even let the poor girl use the bathroom, she’d just kept her tied to the small four corner bed. She’d stolen her dignity and with it her hope of escaping as well.

She seemed so different, so broken. She looked empty, like a dark hole. She was like the void itself, which was the most accurate description. The usual light even that little remaining light from yesterday that was escaping among the shattered pieces of her was gone for good. The damage seemed to be beyond repair. She seemed drifted in her own world unable to stand and face the reality. She probably would prefer not even to be rescued anymore, if this means that someone would see her in that situation. She hadn't even realize agent Scott's presence in the room.

Agent Scott closed the door quietly and moved back towards the car. One thing after all that was quite clear. She had to make her move soon, otherwise her leverage would be dead before both men fell willingly to her feet.


	17. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it finally is, Chapter 17 of Remedy. By Youknowitall  
> Happy reading...

Three weeks...

 

It had taken them three weeks to find her...  
Jay kicked down the door, wood flew around as he stormed inside the motel room. He caught sight of her as soon as his feet entered the dirty room. Erin was lying on the bed with her left arm hanging motionless over the edge. The position she was lying in didn't allow him to see her face, only that she wasn't moving. He heard Voight's voice in the back of his mind shouting 'clear' but all he cared about was his partner, the woman he was in love with.  
　  
Her skin was pale and her body felt cold. The bed beneath her was wet and smelled foul. Jay turned her body around which made the smell of puke hit his nostrills Voight was beside him, he could feel his presence, but didn't give it any attention.   
　  
"There is no pulse Jay." Voight said and Jay could see the panic Voight held in his eyes.   
　  
"Call an ambulance!"   
　  
Jay started CPR. He was going to do everything in his power to save her, he knew that and Voight knew it too. Jay didn't notice how Hank was pacing up and down the messy room, or how he made another phone call, no, his whole focus was with the tiny brown haired woman who was dying slowly in his arms. Yes, they had found her, but at what cost? Jay forced the thoughts that were now running through his mind like waves of guilt away. This was all his fault and he knew that but, that didn't matter right in this moment. No, the only thing that mattered was saving her. She wasn't going to die today. She wasn't going to die like that!  
　  
The sirens of the ambulance got louder, he didn't stop, his hands pressed down over her ripcage, he started to get angry, angry at himself, at the person who did this, at the world.

"C'MON ERIN!" He shouted, and in his misery, Jay lifted his fist and, with force he punched it down over her heart.  
　  
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Erin's eyes shot open, with a deep breath she filled her lungs with air. The world around her was a blur, and every breath she took was a reminder of what had just happened. Her chest hurt, she automatically brought her hands up, trying to get rid of the phisical pain. She tried to see who was there while, trying to make out what was occurring around her. She tried and tried but in the end her body simply wouldn't let her. She felt her brown hair sticking to her pale face. She even felt someone's hands on her, then she heard a voice calling for her...   
　  
She felt sick, trying to move her body to the side but someone held her in place. 

"Sick." She whispered.

"Sick." she said again louder. 

She felt the loss of her captor and was finally able to move. Before she turned around fully, she emptied her stomach. 

She stayed in that position for a while. Her head was turning and every fiber of her body hurt. The pain she felt around her wrists made her notice that she wasn't tied up anymore. 

"Jay?" She barely managed to say. 

"I'm here, and so are the paramedics." He made a small pause and Erin felt the loss of his weight on the matress. "They have to check you now. I'm here and you are safe." 

The only thing she managed was a nod before she felt the loss of his presence next to her. 

　  
Her stay at the hospital was boring, but she knew what was coming after that, and she didn't like it. Not one bit, but she also knew that she had to do it. Not only for her but, also for her family. Yes what she went through was horrible and, she could feel her body longing for the drugs whenever she wasn't sleeping, but that wouldn't change the fact that she was going to rehab. She knew she could get through it. Knew that the people she called her family would stand by her side. And in that moment, it was all Erin needed to know.   
　  
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He couldn't take it anymore. Erin was gone and, didn't want to see him anymore. He was alone again, with no one who could understand him. Hitting his fists down onto the hard wooden table, Jay exhaled loudly "FUCK FUCK FUCK" screaming so the sounds echoed through the empty room. Why didn't she want to see him? He slowly realized that he had nothing left. He was alone in this world. He tried to calm his breathing but failed. Pacing the room like a wild animal Jay started to destroy everything in his wake. It felt good; letting all the anger and suffering out that still lingered deep inside of him.   
　  
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After weeks of not feeling the need to eat something, Erin took the sandwich Kim had brought her. "That smells incredible. Thank you for bringing this."   
　  
Kim smiled but said nothing. Silence surrounded them as Erin started to eat slowly, she didn't know if her stomach would protest and she wasn't going to run the risk of having to throw up in front of her friend.   
　  
"Jay quit!" Burgess said after a while.  
　  
Erin stopped eating and looked at Kim but didn't say anything.  
　  
"What is going on Erin?" She looked at her sadly and then continued. "Are you two ok? Can I do something?" She took Erin's hand and squeezed it lightly.  
　  
"He sent you, didn't he?" Erin pulled her hand away. Her expression serious, her appetite gone.  
　  
Kim said nothing but that said it all. Erin stood so fast, the sandwich fell to the floor. "Tell him I don't want to see him. It's better like that." Erin's thoughts drifted back to Jay but she pushed them away as quickly as they had come. "Tell him I'm ok. And tell him, I don't blame him for what happened. He should move on." She felt the pain in her heart sharpen because of her own words. "Thanks for the food Kim. I'm tired now." With that she turned around and left.   
　  
Tears were running down her face the moment she walked away. She didn't want to leave him, she really didn't, Shit!! He was the one who kept her alive in that hotel room, he was the one she thought about during the worst time in her life. But he didn't deserve her, she was a mess and he was to good for her, Erin knew that she would pull them down, destroy them before they even had a chance to build something together. Something she had stopped believing she'd have a long time ago.   
　  
Crying she fell into her unconfortable and, fell asleep after a while.   
　  
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Weeks had past since she had checked herself in. Erin was recovering. Her skin was still pale and when she looked at herself in the mirror, a hollow face would look back at her. This person was one she thought she'd removed long ago.The weight she had lost made her look ill but all of that would be changeable. What was so much harder, was getting through the trauma she had suffered during the days she was held captive. Even though she felt a lot better, the aftermath of it was burned deeply into her mind.   
　  
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"What are you doing man?" Will pushed Jay back into the nearest wall.   
　  
"I'm going back!" Jay said holding his hands up in surrender.  
　  
"Are YOU FUCKING INSANE?" Will shouted taking the collar of Jay's jacket strarting to shake him. "Have you forgotten what it did to you last time? Have you forgotten what it did with our family?" Will let go of him and stepped back.   
　  
"I have to go. Don't you get that? There is nothing left for me here!" Jay looked down on the ground. "I've messed up." His back hit the wall as he leaned into it.  
"Punishing yourself for what happend to Erin and me, isn't going to change anything! It'll only kill you!" He said hoping his brother would listen.  
"Maybe it isn't." Jay said finding his brothers eyes. "But I have made up my mind." Jay pushed himself off of the wall, hugging his brother, not wanting to let go but knowing time to leave had come.   
　  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
　  
"Has nobody told you?" Voight's rusky voice filled Erin's temporary new old teenage bedroom at Hank's house.   
　  
"Told me what?"   
　  
"Jay is back with the military, he is leaving for Afganistan in a week."  
　  
Her heart started to race after Hank had mentioned Jay but the moment the words Military and Afganistan were out, the feeling changed into fear and anger. Without a word, she stood up and started to undress herself. "I need a moment." She said to her Dad.  
　  
"There is nothing you can do now Erin, maybe it's better this way." He was already walking out the door when he heard her smashing the closet doors.   
　  
Erin put on some old street clothes that were still in the closet from her teenage days and then went to the door to check if Hank was back downstairs again. He would never let her go, especially now that she was back but she had to leave, she had to find Jay and bring him back. If he was going back, she knew he'd die over there and, it would be because of her. The moment Hank had told her, it was like the pieces of a puzzle suddenly fit together.   
All they had done up to this point didn't matter anymore. All that counted now was finding him and apologizing. She pulled a black sweater over her head and then left the house through the bedroom window like she had done a million times when she was a teenager.  
　  
The night was clear, the streets already dark. She couldn't see the stars but she knew they were there high above her. She ran a block before she got to the bus station. She was lucky, as soon as she arrived, she saw the bus approaching.   
　  
She got off the bus about ten minutes later. She was almost there, only a few more minutes.  
　  
She heard the doorbell ring and didn't have to wait long before the door opened.  
　  
"Erin? What are you doing here?"   
　  
"Can I come in?"   
　  
"Of course."   
　  
"What happend? With Jay I mean. What is going on?" She sat down on the dark green couch.  
　  
"Erin, I can't discuss patient information with you." Dr. Charles said with a quiet but firm tone.   
　  
"I know, but Jay will get himself killed if he goes over there again. And it'll be my fault." Erin pleaded, knowing she lost the fight before it even started.  
　  
"Jay came to see me after all of this happened, he confided in me. He was going through a hard time, and loosing you on top of that, helped him make a desicion I may not agree with, but for him it is the right thing to do." He folded his hands together and leaned back into the old looking chair he was sitting in.  
　  
"Don't you understand? He is suffering, that is why he's going back there, to punish himself for what has happened. For his brother's death, for what happened with me. For betraying me. For all that, he thinks he has to die, but he doesn't!!" Erin stood now, anger rushing through her veins with every word she spoke. "You need to stop this!"   
　  
"I can't do anything, I'm sorry Erin." Dr. Charles stood now too. "If you ever want to talk..." Erin was already out the door before he finished his sentence.  
　  
Angry she walked around, not knowing where to go. She felt her phone vibrating in her jeans pocket and without looking at who was calling she picked up.   
　  
"Erin. I just wanted to say goodbye."  
　  
"Jay?" There was a pause, "Jay, are you ok? where are you?"   
　  
"Goodbye Erin. I am so sorry for what I have done to you. You deserve better." She knew he'd hang up soon so she spoke up before he could.  
　  
"Jay please. Don't do this. I am sorry, I shouldn't have pushed you away. I was selfish and at the time I needed to focus on getting better myself. I am sorry for not noticing that you needed someone. I am sorry. Please, you'll end up getting yourself killed." Erin's voice begged.   
　  
"Will said the exact same thing." He said sad.   
　  
"Will?" She asked surprised. "Will is gone Jay."   
　  
"No, I talked to him at the hospital." Erin was confused. What the hell was going on? "Where are you Jay?" She asked carefully not knowing if he'd tell her.  
　  
"Packing the rest of my stuff." She exhaled loudly in relief. "Bye Erin." With that he cut the call.  
　  
He was home.   
　  
On her way over to Jay, Erin called Maggie, hoping she could fill in the blanks before she'd confront Jay.   
　  
Knocking on the door, Erin waited nervously for him to open, but he didn't. "Jay, open up, I know you're home." She knocked again.   
　  
No answer.  
　  
"Jay, let's talk." She listened for any sound but couldn't hear anything.  
　  
She pulled down the handle and was surprised when the door opened. She stepped inside carefully. "Jay?"   
　  
"Erin?" He turned around from where he stood, and she could see a beige carton box standing in front of him on the table. His hair was messy, he looked like he hadn't slept in a while. The black trousers he wore were torn as was part of his blue shirt. His knuckles were encrusted with his own blood.   
　  
"Jay, can I come in?"   
　  
"You already are."  
　  
"True."   
　  
The situation felt awkward. Erin walked closer to him but came to a halt when she reached the couch.  
　  
"What is going on Jay? You said you talked to Will, but he is gone." She said carefully and very quietly, trying to capture his eyes.   
　  
"Yes, I know." He responded sadly.  
　  
"Tell me how I can help you." She walked closer to him.  
　  
"I don't know Erin. It's too late, its too late to do anything." He said stepping back, away from her.   
　  
　


	18. We are Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter! Enjoy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it, the final chapter of Remedy. Thank you for staying with us on this incredible ride, for commenting, for leaving kudos and for reading it and being that patient with us. A thank you to every author who worked on this story, who helped forming it, into this incredible story it has become.  
> Be ready, the next challenge is coming for sure.  
> Love you all.  
> Xoxo C  
> (Youknowitall)

That day Hank Voight entered the precinct with his closed face as always. He raised his eyes until he met Sargent Platt's unspoken question and shook his head no while making his way upstairs. Sargent Platt went back to her papers looking disappointed. Al followed Voight close behind and gave a small knock on the counter, "We will get her, you will see." 

When Voight entered the bullpen Antonio was already walking in his direction. "I think I know where she is hiding!" Antonio informed him, handing Voigh a file. Voight opened it to try to understand what Antonio was talking about.

“Agent Scott is using a FED Safe House outside of Chicago to hide from us. She requested this address three days ago." Antonio said, pointing to the referred address in the file.  

Voight didn't even answer him. He turned his back on both of his men, António and Al, and barked,  "Let's go!" already going down the stairs.       

Al's phone started to ring. "Wait, wait! I need to cheek my email." Al informed them turning his way back to the bullpen. Hank looked puzzled. "Now?" 

"Yes, I've been digging around and apparently I received some important information about our dearest Agent Scott." Al said, as he approached his desk. 

Antonio looked at Hank,  "Maybe we should offer him a new phone!" 

Al just ignored their comments about his basic phone and took a note of something on a paper. "So our friend Jack from the FED's says they opened an investigation on Agent Scott. Finally!" 

Hank scratched his chin. "On what?" 

Al looked again to the monitor, "Well on a lot of things. She is being accused of illicit use of federal resources; deceiving witnesses, blackmail, some other minor stuff."  

"And what about Antonio's intel? Our FED confirm that she requested that safe house?" Hank asked. 

"He confirms that she is currently using one of their safe houses outside Chicago but didn't give me the address. But I think it's a good bet." Al said. 

Hank paced the room thinking about what to do next. "I want to catch that bitch! But I'm afraid with all the people after her she will disappear forever.  She really knows how to move around without being noticed." He acknowledged.  

* * *

 

Later that day Agent Scott looked through the curtain of the kitchen window for the seventh’s time since she heard that strange noise. She was almost sure that she had heard radio frequency exchange sounds but she couldn't see anything or anyone suspicious. She must be delusional or drunk anyway because who could it be?  Nobody  knew that she was here besides that dumb Agent Michael that totally believed that she had a new witness on the Hank Voight case. He didn't know that it was not even a case. 

The truth was there was no case, she had crossed a line when she decided to take that detective to the ground and now there was no turning back.  She had nothing to show to her superiors, at least nothing that they could use anyway. No mob case, no Voight case, no anything. _"What have you done girl"_ , she murmur to herself. 

She picked up the bottle again and took a sip, as she looked at the kitchen counter she counted the empty beer bottles. Eight. She had drank eight beers plus a bottle of red wine. Yes because she still was a high class woman, and high class women drink red wine in high glasses but she couldn't keep up with the wine so she changed to beer. 

Dropping herself on the couch she tried to figured out how she was going pull herself out of this. She always found a way to best everyone so this time would not be different.  

She was almost asleep when she heard the phone. It was a text. She looked at phone a bit lost. She was wasted, so she wasn't sure about what was happening. 

_"They are on the way."_

"What the fuck???" She mumbled. "They who? Michael? They who?" She yelled at the phone without noticing that she was not talking to anyone. 

* * *

 

Jay’s house was a mess, Erin looked around and realized how trashed the living room was. The coffee table was totally destroyed, the couch was against the opposite wall. There was glass on the ground from a lamp that was broken, and the TV was still working but lay on the floor up side down, the only thing that appeared not to suffer his rage was the beige box where apparently he was now putting his things away. 

She looked at him again. Jay looked haunted and besides his hurt knuckles he had small bloody cuts on his hands and arms. She felt the urge to hug him, make him feel safe but when she took a step in his direction she noticed he backed away and she decided not to. He looked so scared and lost. His eyes showed marks of crying and rubbing. They were bloodshot. His hands were shaking; actually his full body was shaking lightly.  

She sadly felt lost. She didn't know how to reach him, she felt powerless. That man standing there, looking small and frightened, was the man who searched for her without stop for three weeks. That fragile man that was sharing that trashed space with her right now was the man that found her in the most uncomfortable situation full of vomit and her own feces and didn't run, he was there for her and tried to stand by her side after all that. For God sake that man performed CPR on her and saved her life. She owed him her life and now she couldn't do anything for him! 

She must do something.  

"Jay can I come to you?" She asked in a low tone, carefully. But he didn't answer her, just kept quiet. She didn't know what to do but she needed to reach him so she tried again. "Jay?" And she took a small step in his direction, waiting for his reaction. He didn't move so she took another step and tried to reach his hand. "Jay, it's me ok, I'm sorry I… I thought I was doing a good thing, I messed up Jay but...But I'm here now ok! We are good!" 

He finally let her get close. She intertwined her fingers with his and stepped closer to him, passing by the beige box with his stuff in it, she used her foot to move it out of the way. When she reached him she looked straight in his eyes. Jay was hurting so much and she was the one to blame. With her free hand she caressed her face. He closed his eyes and lay his head on her hand feeling her touch. This gesture made her shiver, and she came even closer to hug him. His body was stiff but she started to feel him relaxing slowly and finally he hugged her back. In that moment they both cried. She with her face buried in his chest and he with his face buried in her hair. 

"I missed you so much" He whispered.  

"I'm here and I'm not going anywhere," she said with the sourest voice. 

They  stayed like that forever until the sound of communications from the radio broke their embrace. 

Erin looked at Jay. "Why do you have the precinct radio here?"

He looked away, feeling trapped. He had brought the radio home yes, he couldn't let go of the Agent Scott thing, but didn't trust what he would do if he found out that they had a lead on the woman that let his brother be murdered and more important the woman that kidnapped, torture and left for dead the only person that he now had left in his life. The woman that was standing in front of him, with a look of hurt, love and confusion in her eyes. He owned her an explanation. 

Still not facing her, he spoke in a really low tone.  "I wanted to see if they know something about that bitch Agent Scott!" He almost spit her name. 

Erin faced him. "Jay let that go, let them do their jobs!"

He just mumbled something that she could not quiet understand and turned around, picking the radio up. He listened to the exchange over the radio at a low enough volume Erin couldn't hear. 

His face was blank as he put the radio down. "They got her location!" And with that he started to dig around in the box pulling out his truck keys.  

"Jay what are you doing?" Erin asked, grabbing his hand. 

He let her hand go gently, "I'm going after her and please don't try to stop me, after all... My brother ...you... I just... I can't... I... damn it! I have to do something ok!" 

The broken look that he had when she found him was back. She thought about what to do for a second, she had to do something. 

"OK Jay, I will not stop you but I'm going with you!"  

He nodded and turned his back on her, heading to the door. She almost had to run to catch his pace to the car. He kept the radio on during the ride to the whereabouts of Agent Scott.  The trip was made in dead silence with some interruptions from the radio but he did reach for her hand from time to time, as he was trying to calm himself down. 

They managed to get to the location before Voight and the team. Jay pulled his Glock from the glove compartment and headed to the house. He was so ramped up that he didn't even wait for Erin, he just approached the house and tried to find an entrance point. Erin walked around the house and found a car hidden in the bushes with two guys in. Erin couldn't really put a finger on who they were but she tried to not be seen. When she got to Jay he was forcing the kitchen door open and they both entered the house in silence and cleared it room by room. 

They found her in the bathroom washing her face. He silently opened the door with the point of his gun, praying the door didn't makes any noise. Agent Scott didn't notice them until she had the gun leaning on her head. With the water running all she heard was "move" and she raised her head to face her attacker. When she saw his face she smiled at how ironic the situation was. 

"So detective you finally found me. Who knew!" 

"I said don't move!" Jay barked. 

Erin could see his vein pumping on his forehead. "Jay let's wait for them." She asserted. 

But Jay was to overwhelmed. "I don't need them, it was my life that she tried to destroy. So now I will destroy her!" Jay said. 

Erin could hear regret and pain and defeat in his voice. She felt for him so much. That woman took her back to a place that she didn't want to be in for sure. She made her go back to rehab, she tortured her and left her to die but somehow Erin had made it through that, she had put it in the place where she hid her bad memories and tried to forget about it.  Agent Scott was in the pile she had of people that mistreated her, abused her and failed her. The pile was big for sure and although Erin would always remember, she knew she had to get through it, but she would not forgive herself if Jay destroyed his life because of her. 

"Jay, that scum bag doesn't deserve it! " 

"She got my brother killed!” Jay said, almost crying. "She left you for dead in that motel room." He added, now crying. "She wanted to take it all from me... I..." And he forced the gun to her head.  

Erin got closer to him, trying to calm him down. She put her hand on his gun shoulder, "Jay you're going to ruin it. You kill her, you will go to jail. You're not even in the unit anymore. You asked to leave. You shouldn’t be here!” She said softly, trying to bring him to reason, but he didn’t moved an inch so she kept going. “Jay, you have me! I'm here now! And I will be with you. You don't need to leave. I don't want you to leave. I was just hiding from myself, but I think I'm in love with you!"  

His eyes welled up with tears. _"I’m in love with you too!"_ He murmured to himself as he hesitated for a split second.  

As he released the pressure on the gun and tried to think what to do next, Agent Scoot broke free and ran to the opposite side of the bathroom, then disappeared. 

Erin looked stunned. "Where did she go?"  

Jay ran after Scott yelling. "Two doors in the bathroom...Stop you bitch!"  

But she was already on the other side of the house, knowing her way around much better than them. She got outside, ran to the driveway and climbed in her car. Jay ran to his truck with Erin on his heels. As they started to follow Agent Scott, Erin barked their location and situation into the radio. 

Seconds later a car started to follow them. 

"That was the car that was hidden in the bushes." Erin informed Jay.

Jay looked at her surprised. "Who are they?" 

Erin shook her head, "I really don't know but if I had to bet I say there are feds!" 

Jay eyes went wide. This was getting more complicated by the minute. He sped up behind Agent Scott's car, almost touching her fender. They kept tailing her as close as he could but they were failing to stop her. The traffic was crazy and Jay had to escape from two or three cars that crossed their path.

"Are they still on our tail?" He asked Erin. 

She just nodded yes. 

 _"Where is she heading?"_ Jay murmured. 

What happened next was already expected since Agent Scott was drunk, she drove through an intersection and stopped abruptly, making Jay break abruptly too. Jay could not stop the car on time and hit her car hard. Both cars spun in the middle of the intersection and when they finally stopped spinning a truck came barreling through, unable to stop. 

"Jay! Jay!" Erin yelled trying to reach him. She felt a big pressure on her stomach and looked around to see how they were. The car was upside down and she was hanging by the seat belt. With her arm she could reach Jay but he was not responsive, he had a big wound on his head and his shirt had a big blood stain. She tried to reach the radio but in that position she could not reach it.  _"Think Erin! Think!"_

She rearranged her position but no luck again so she tried to free herself from the seat belt. When she got it, she dropped herself on the top of the truck making all her body crackle. "Auch! Damn it!"  She spit out at the pain. But she finally managed to reached the radio.  

Jay thought he heard voices far away, and then he felt hands on him and tried to talk and open his eyes but he was so tired that he couldn't do it. He just heard fragments. 

_"Unresponsive" "lots of blood" "second victim"_

His head flew to the accident. "Erin how is Erin? I have to... She …" But he was too tired to struggle and he let himself go.   

* * *

 

Erin was seated on an uncomfortable chair for the last two hours. Natalie had passed by and offered her coffee twice but she just wanted all this to end fast. She hated hospitals and hated that Jay was there. 

Natalie approached her again. "So the other victim, some FBI woman?" 

Erin looked at her, unimpressed. She really didn't give a damn about that woman anymore, she manage to almost get them killed. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry but she lost a lot of blood and my colleagues couldn’t repair her wounds... I'm... I'm sorry Erin!" 

Erin nodded in silence and lowered her head. She was not happy with this, but at least that bitch would not bother them anymore. "And Jay?" 

Natalie smiled. "He seems to get through this one. He is still under the anesthesia and we will know more when he wakes up but except for the amount of blood that he lost, everything looks fine, no vital organs threatened and the head wound looked worse than it was in the end. 

Erin released a deep breathe and felt her body relax. She didn't notice she was so tense until she heard Natalie words. "And can I see him?" 

"In a bit!" Natalie said. "I will call you when they bring him to a room ok?" 

Erin nodded and sat back, rubbing her face. Natalie got closer and put her hand on her shoulder, the action that made Erin shrink away in pain. 

"Sorry" Natalie said. 

Erin's shoulder was sore from the accident and she had minor cuts on her hands and one bigger one on the neck but all superficial. The doctors said that she would have a big bruise on her bally from the seat belt hanging. But that was all. Although Jay had a concussion and had suffered major blood loss from a cut on his torso.  

"He will be ok Erin, don't worry!" Natalie added, trying to settle her. "I will come call you ok?" 

Erin nodded again. She was tired and beat and afraid. With her head full.

When she heard a nurse calling her name she didn't move at first thinking the woman was not talking to her. But when she heard her name again she got up and walk to the nurses desk. 

"Yes?" 

The nurse smiled and gently walked with her to a room near by. "You can see him now." 

Erin entered the room and felt a chill of fear. What if he doesn’t remember her, or doesn't want to see her. Her head and her insecurities were playing with her again, but she was going to be strong. When she saw him he was already awake and smiled when he saw her. With that smile all her fears and doubts disappeared. 

"Hi Boy Scout! Looking good! "She said, smiling and approaching his bed. 

"Hey Voight's Girl! You look pretty good too. That bandage gives you a sexy look!" He added grinning. 

"How are you feeling?" She asked, reaching for his hand. He intertwined their fingers. 

"I'm sore but that’s all I think. Don’t worry OK!" He said with a scoffed voice. “Agent Scott?”

She shook her head.

“Was it me?” He asked.

“No… A truck came and hit us. She had no chance to survive the massive bleeding.” Erin informed him.

Jay squeezed her hand and nodded. She could read relief in his look. She kept quiet and a small tear fell down her face. He cleaned it with his thumb. "So did I bump my head or did I heard you saying that you're in love with me?" 

She gave a shy smile and leaned her head in, giving him a sweet short kiss on the forehead. He loosened her hand and rearranged her hair. "You are all I have Erin and I think I'm in love with you too!"  He gently pulled her closer to him, trying to raise himself a bit releasing a gasp of pain and gently kissed her on the lips, a sweet and gentle kiss that make them both shiver. 

"We are good?" He asked. 

She smiled and laid her head on his shoulder, whispering close to his neck. "We are good!"


End file.
